If I got a dollar for every time I heard someone say, “I don’t trust anyone.” I swear I would never need another advance on my paycheck again. It seems to be the most popular form of mental self-defense. Get hurt, hate everyone, and then pretend like you don’t care even though you do. Trying to be the tough guy is actually hurting you more than helping.
When someone breaks our trust, it is a devastating experience. Betrayal is one of the worst feelings in the world next to heartbreak. Often we try to counteract this feeling by pretending like we saw it coming, and we just do not give a f*ck. Having your guard up with a person who has done you wrong in the past is understandable, and fixing that relationship is a whole other article in itself.
But then the next person who comes along has the unfortunate task of pulling down those walls you put up, just to have the best relationship possible. The truth is, forcing someone to earn your trust from the very beginning is going to exhaust the other person, not make them love you more. Habits you believe are protecting you from getting hurt again are actually increasing the chances of damaging future and even current relationships.
Not everyone in this world is out to get you, so quit treating them like they are. Allowing people to get to know the deeper parts of you will to lead to much richer relationships. While it is true that opening yourself up may get you hurt, it will also strengthen the connection you have with the best people in your life. Holding on to your pride is only going to make you old and bitter. By telling yourself and others that you “don’t trust anyone,” what you are really saying is, “I’m too much of a bitch to grow from my past experiences.” You are not a stronger or wiser human being, just a whiny one.
Let your walls be knocked down, and watch how much more enlightened you’ll become. If someone hurts you, well at least you now know they are no good for you. Meanwhile, the truly good people in your life will love you all the deeper for allowing them to see the real you. Most importantly, never deny your feelings. If you are hurt, then own up to it, because holding it in will only prolong the struggle. Be good to yourself, and the world will be good to you in return.
Keila Camacho | Elite. Photo Credit: Tumblr Twitter: @Kbossofindustry