I recently experienced a traumatizing moment when a guy told me "to get a hobby."
First of all, no. Second of all, what the actual f*ck?
I was so caught off guard and flustered. I stumbled over my words.
It felt awkward and unnatural having to defend how I spend my spare time. And even worse, I was unable to come up with a single hobby.
I mean, I told him I work out every day and love it. But apparently, that wasn't "hobby-like" enough.
Who the f*ck made you the hobby police, anyway?
I sobbed a little and felt pretty sh*tty. I found myself on the couch at 1 am with a chocolate bar, watching "My 600-lb Life."
Is working full-time (plus a weekend job), being a dog mom and working out like crazy not enough?
I don't want to force myself into a craft. I don't want to learn jiu-jitsu.
I want to cook and bake when I feel like it, read when I feel like it, draw when I feel like it and not be on some sort of timeline that determines whether or not it's a hobby.
Working out and being healthy has always been my thing, but this lame guy just totally diminished my whole being.
I felt small, pathetic and judged.
I've always been a little self-conscious about not being talented at anything. I mean, I'm good at a lot of things, but I've never been great at anything.
Whatever, I've come to terms with it. Not everyone has an amazing talent.
(My mom says I'm special, so it's all good.)
I was perfectly content with my "not hobbies" until he came around.
Anyway, I got to thinking. What are the standards of hobby-ing? What makes a hobby a hobby?
Here are a few of the things I came up with:
1. Make "you time."
F*ck the term "hobby."
The whole point is you're doing something for yourself.
Whether it's taking a long walk every morning, a half an hour bubble bath at night or staring at the stars for 20 minutes, take that time.
If your hobby is spending 15 minutes meditating, that's cool.
You need time alone to stay sane. Breathe in life, and breathe out the drama.
It's probably a good idea to review your life and make sure you're staying active in some sense.
Whether it's reading, writing or Netflix-ing, I think anything can be a hobby.
The point is to do something.
3. Be healthy.
Make sure your hobby contributes to your life in a positive, healthy way.
So while binge-drinking is cool sometimes, maybe make wine-tasting your next hobby.
Add a positive spin, and learn from whatever you do.
I recently downloaded a word of the day app to increase my vocabulary. Sometimes, I even take quizzes.
4. Don't compare.
I am 100 percent the worst offender of comparing myself to others. I am my own worst enemy.
I love to make myself feel like sh*t by looking at other people's lives and comparing myself to them.
I even talk to myself while I look at other people's social media feeds.
I'm like, "Oh my god, she's so pretty! I want her life."
You must stop comparing. It's only making you miserable.
5. Punch naysayers in the nose.
So, there you go.
These are simple guidelines to follow to prove you're not a couch potato.
In fact, I believe that even if you think you're a couch potato, when you went through this simple list, you found a few things you also can call "hobbies."