How Many Wannabe Vegans Do You Know?

by Lizzie Braicks

Lately, it seems like everybody has their own “food thing”; they don’t eat wheat, all of their meals come in juice form, or they’ve taken on habits that are completely inconvenient regarding their food consumption. Right now in Seattle, it seems like everyone is vegan, and if they aren’t vegan, they’ve tried it at least once and thrown in the towel.

These individuals are known as the “Wannabe Vegans,” the people who try to make it work, but just can’t seem to commit.  Don’t let these wannabes fool you, though. Chances are, if you know a Wannabe Vegan, they fall into one of the following categories:

The Fashionista

Which does the Vegan Fashionista love more: kittens or Birkin bags? This can be a difficult question to navigate if you are equally as passionate about your ever-expanding (and fabulous) closet as you are about your designer dog. The Vegan Fashionista has a genuine concern for reducing animal cruelty (NOBODY messes with her French Bulldog), but also can’t say no to a beautifully crafted piece of leather.

These well-intentioned individuals find themselves living in an uncomfortable no-man’s land between two opposing cultures. The Vegan Fashionista has tried her hardest to buy from Jeffrey Campbell and Free People’s Vegan lines, but just can’t seem to say goodbye to the buttery softness of authentic leather garb. This vegan is fully committed when it comes to their food choices, but is positively carnivorous when it comes to apparel.

The Activist

The Vegan Activist has a deep-seeded, genuine concern for the world they live in but the activist isn’t always the greatest about following through. This is the same person who jumped enthusiastically on the KONY 2012 campaign, but slowly tapered off after posting a few flyers and some enthusiastic Facebook posts.

This person will usually take veganism to the extreme and eat only raw foods for a week, only to succumb to the depths of McDonald’s in the middle of an all-city walk protesting GMO’s. The Vegan Activist is more passionate about creating the hype about making a difference, than committing to a cause, and will most likely try to be vegan multiple times before quietly giving up.

The Hipster

Sometimes, it’s fun to do something just because it’s the cool thing to do. Such is the case of the Vegan Hipster; they don’t necessarily care that much about the ethics or health benefits behind veganism, so much as they want to be ironically trendy. In the eyes of the Vegan Hipster, being vegan is akin to wearing skinny jeans and horn-rimmed glasses (while using Apple products), but pretending that your affinity to these trends is purely coincidental.

The Vegan Hipster likes the idea of being vegan because of the fact that it’s extreme and a little off-color, not because they necessarily care about the cause. The Vegan Hipster is likely to abandon the diet once it becomes too mainstreamed.

The Health Nut

There are a few people who embrace veganism not because they care about the animals, but because they are slightly OCD about current health trends. Vegan Health Nuts went on the Atkins diet in the eighth grade and have tried every fitness class out there. For the Vegan Health Nut, every week is a new trend; they’ve juiced, skipped gluten, ran marathons, and committed to yoga retreats in some country you can’t pronounce the name of.

They also tend to be exceptionally vocal about why their current lifestyle habits are healthier than yours. Sure, this week, the Health Nut is a Vegan Pilates devotee, but don’t be surprised if next week, they’re slamming back boiled chicken breasts on their way to Cross Fit.