My sisters are the best gifts my parents ever gave to me, and I think many women can say the same thing. My mom and dad basically handed me two best friends the moment my sisters were born.
Forever, the three of us will have each other's backs through thick and thin, the great times and the total sh*t times.
I didn’t start to transition into the person I am today until I became a big sister. My sisters were my babies from the day they came home from the hospital, a year apart, swaddled in pink blankets and smelling like Johnson & Johnson shampoo.
The day I became a big sister was the day I started caring significantly more about another person than I care about myself. The love was instantly unconditional.
Being a big sister is a huge responsibility. I feel like a mama lioness when it comes to my baby sisters; I want to protect them with a fierceness that can only be reserved for younger siblings.
I swell with pride at every accomplishment of theirs as if it were my own; they make me laugh so hard I cry, and I can tell them even the most horrifyingly embarrassing things.
They are the most important people in my life. As an older sister, I want to shield my little sisters from any kind of pain. I want to make sure they are always happy and well adjusted. I am here to give advice, to lend an ear and to be their advocate.
I would do anything to take away any modicum of pain that either of them feels, but I know that isn’t possible. I know that, inevitably, my baby sisters will feel pain; they will be let down.
What hurts me most, however, is knowing that their beautiful, precious hearts are going to get broken one day. It sets my insides on fire to know this is a fact of life that I simply cannot change. All I can do is be there for support and try to soften the blow as best as I can, when that day does come.
This is for my Princess and my Pumpkin: 12 things I want to tell my baby sisters about their first broken hearts.
1. It’s okay to cry.
I know you want to be strong; I know you’re trying so hard to hold the pieces of your life together while it feels like the most important part of it has fallen apart. Let go, baby. It’s okay to cry. You need to grieve; you need to feel.
Let your tears fall heavily, soaking your pillow. Let your sobs echo throughout your empty room. Don’t be afraid of your feelings because it shows your remarkable depth of human empathy to let yourself feel this pain.
Don’t hold it in, just cry.
2. Time will heal.
I know it feels like the world has stopped, like your loneliness will overtake you and your sorrow will break your spirit. I know that right now you want nothing more than to melt away, to undo what has been done and to make the consuming agony relent.
As your big sister, I have to tell you, to promise you, this grief will pass in time. Time heals all wounds, and even with yours so cavernous and bleeding, you will survive. In time, you will move on; you will be whole again. As your big sister, I need you to trust me.
3. You looked up to me then; look up to me now.
Don’t shy away from me and envelop yourself in a world of darkness and solace. Please, my darling, let me comfort you. Look to me for guidance. I swear to you, I will always be there for you. Nothing you ever do could take away my love and my support.
Look up to me, baby sister. Reach for my hand because up is the only way you have to go.
4. Remember who you are.
You may have a broken heart, but I beg you never to forget who you are. Look at yourself now that you are standing on your own, outside of that other person who was such an intrinsic part of your world.
You are the same caring, charismatic love bug I’ve known all my life and I will not allow you to forget that.
5. Remember you will never be alone.
I know how alone you feel. I’ve had my heart broken, too, and as someone who knows what this feels like -- the loneliness and emptiness -- let me assure you, you will never be alone, not as long as I’m alive. Your happiness is everything to me.
I will be here, holding you in my arms, until you are back on your feet.
6. Please, don’t close your heart.
Do not close your heart away from love. Do not swear that these feelings of ever-deepening foreboding will force you to seal away your heart from ever finding your special someone.
Don’t become hard just because you were dealt a hard blow. Don’t drift away into complacent singledom just because you are afraid to get hurt.
7. You do not have to forgive.
I know this isn’t something you expected to hear. After all, as the saying goes, “You have to forgive to forget.” I’m telling you this simply isn’t true. You do not have to forgive someone to heal your heart.
The truth of the matter is, you will never forget someone who broke your heart. You will move on and the pain will subside, but I’m not going to lie and tell you you will forget him. The heart doesn’t allow the memory to shed the imprint of someone who hurt us.
This person hurt you; you don’t have to forgive him. Lord knows I never will.
8. You’re always on someone’s mind.
Because you are always on mine!
9. You may have your heart broken again.
And we will face it together. I am only telling you this so you can be prepared. I don’t mean to scare you; I don’t mean to make you apprehensive about trusting your heart to another love, but life is uncertain. There is always a possibility to be hurt by someone or something.
Be grateful you have the ability to love so much that you are able to feel heartbreak because as much as it hurts, it’s all a part of being human.
10. You have more love in this world than you will ever know.
Your boyfriend may have fallen out of love with you, he may have left you for someone else or somewhere new, but the absence of that love does not leave you devoid of love.
No matter what happens, you will have more love in your life than you will ever be able to comprehend. Your family adores you. We want what’s best for you; we want you to succeed.
F*ck some idiot who clearly didn’t have enough taste to see what a marvelous person you are.
11. You are your own hero.
Try to remember how much you have to give the world. Though I am always here to support you, to love you and to pull you back from the depths of despair, in the end, the only one who can save you is you.
You have to think about your goals and about your future. You may not have a lot of fight in you now, baby, but it’s there. It’ll surface even if I have to yank it out of you!
12. There will be other loves.
I know he seemed like "the one." I know this didn’t end on your terms. It feels nearly damn impossible to get over someone when you didn’t end things yourself -- trust me, I’ve been there.
I’m your big sister; you know you can believe me when I tell you there will be other loves. There may only be one or two more; true and powerful love only comes about a few times if we’re fortunate. This isn’t the end; your heart will mend and you will love again.