And A Blunt Ain't One: 13 Worries Perpetual Stoners Never Have

by Lauren Martin

With weed legalization spreading across the nation (OK, maybe just four states. But still. It’s happening.), it’s time to talk about the benefits of weed. And I’m not talking about the health benefits or economic ones.

I’m talking about the personal benefits — like how being stoned makes you a better person. I’m talking about how weed enhances your mind and changes everything you thought you once knew.

It changes the way you look at, experience and understand life. Most importantly, it changes your mind.

It’s clichéd to say people who smoke weed are more chill, but clichés are clichés for a reason, and I’ll be damned if you find anyone more chill than a man or woman who tokes the reefer.

I live by the belief if the whole world smoked weed, there would be a lot less hate and a lot less stress. Just ask our president.

Besides the age-old idea that weed makes you more paranoid, once you learn how to do it the right way, and with the right people, it has the power to turn your constant paranoia into perpetual chillness.

Those problems you think are problems turn into funny thoughts of yesterday. Those worries everyone lets consume them become insignificant particles floating around a world that suddenly seems bigger and lighter.

People who smoke weed have learned the secret, captured the essence of life and in words of The Dude, “can’t be worried about that sh*t. Life goes on, man.”

The opinions of others

Other people's opinions are about as important and pertinent as what’s on the TV.

They really don’t care and they can change it whenever they want. They know who they are, where they need to be and what they like.

Your opinion may as well be keef on top of a packed bowl.

How many likes they got on Instagram

Social media is social media is social media is social what? People who smoke don’t just not worry about social media, they don’t have it. If they do, it’s only to get stoned and make fun of everyone else on it.

What they're going to do in five years

They don’t just need a light... because they’ve seen the light. They know everything works out the same way a joint will always get rolled.

They aren’t worried about plans and steps because they’re master improvisers and have more world knowledge than people stuck with their head up their major’s ass.

The status of their relationships

They know what they want and what they don’t. They know love will come when they least expect it and, until then, they’re just enjoying the blunt ride.

Fights that have gone on in the past

Negative energy is about as useful as a broken bowl. They look forward to the future and never dwell on the past.

You may think it’s because they’ve fried their memory, but it’s really just something they’ve become as selective about as the people they smoke with.

All those mistakes

They may be surrounded by fog, but smokers see more clearly than anyone. They’ve got a grasp on what’s important and what they need to let go of.

They’ve learned to distinguish between the few things worth worrying about and all those worries that just need to be set ablaze.

Their mortality

Life is a journey and they’re going to ride it to the end. They have no hold on the present any more than they do the future.

They're perpetually living in the moment and are the most enlightened people you've never smoked with.

Gossip about people they've never met

Anything going on with people who aren’t around them is just noise. They care about real things -- things they can touch and inhale.

The small stuff

Don’t come to them with your insignificant problems. Don’t talk to them about gossip or drama because they don’t want to hear it.

They're all about enjoying life, not dwelling on the petty bullsh*t weighing everyone else down.

They’re too high for all that.

Where they're going next

They aren’t about making plans; they’re about going with the flow. They don’t need schedules to feel alive and active. They need to feel unburdened from the daily grind… unless that grinder’s full.

Labeling other people -- or themselves

They have absolutely no need for anything representing anything else. Life is about lounging in clothes, not obsessing over them.

They don’t judge others for what they’re wearing anymore than they hope you’re not judging them.

All the things that could have been

What ifs are saved for space documentaries and conspiracy theories. They don't worry about things that may have been or could have happened.

They live in the moment and that moment is always as hazy as the past.


They never worry about how their actions of today are going to affect tomorrow because weed can cure anything that could, has or will go wrong.

They don't stress about the future, but, more importantly, the moment. They never let their minds enter the dark cloud of tomorrow, only the haze of today.