Micky Wiswedel

14 Things Only Short People Understand

A lot of people think that being short is no fun at all. But take it from someone who knows: It has its perks.

For instance, you can get away with (pardon the pun) small stuff, like swiping an extra cookie from the snack cabinet or sneaking into the VIP section of a concert.

Sure, you might have to fight for respect sometimes, but you have to look at the bright side, guys!

When you don’t have your height to fall back on, you have to attract people the old-fashioned way: with your stellar personality. That is why short people are always the most fun. It is just a fact.

While the struggle for us vertically-challenged people remains all too real, it’s this seeming handicap that also unites us: Short people know how to play the game of life.

And we f*cking kill it.

Here are 14 things only short people understand.

1. Buying pants without the need for tailoring is just not a thing.

You’ve never bought an item of clothing that didn’t require some kind of alteration, and when you find a brand that actually fits you, you stick with it for life.

But when push comes to shove, all your clothing looks custom, which makes you a local fashion icon. (HA! SO THERE, GIANTS!)

2. The jokes can never be avoided.

It doesn’t matter how tall the other person is, he or she will make fun of you. Because of this cruel reality, you’re accustomed to brushing it off whenever someone asks, “How’s the weather down there?” You're also a pro at responding to inquiries as to whether you’re tall enough to ride a roller coaster.

And you can thank these people for giving you your great sense of humor and thick skin. Nothing can phase you!

3. Children think you're one of the gang.

Children seem to have a difficult time grasping that you’re an authority figure. Because they’re roughly the same height, they assume you’re one of them, which can make doling out the rules really annoying. While some may falter at the lack of ~respect~, you just join in on their games and are therefore the coolest adult ever. It's called going with the flow, duh.

4. Flying coach ain’t no thang.

A benefit of your short stature is that you can ride in the coach section and be comfortable. While other people struggle to fit in their seats, you can take a 16-hour flight around the world like a champion. You’re sized just right for travel, after all.

5. You find yourself regularly denying how short you are.

For whatever reason, we short people feel the need to pretend we’re taller than we actually are. To deflect attention, we’ll point out that other people are just as short, or we'll simply pretend that everyone else is insane, because we’re a normal height in our own eyes. It's the tall people who are nuts.

6. Watching movies in theaters is problematic.

But concerts are even more problematic. Actually, any event where anyone is going to be sitting or standing in front of you is an issue. Crowds just aren’t ideal settings for short people. But you will use this to your advantage without shame.

Since you're so adorably pint sized, sneaking (or talking) your way into the VIP section is almost too easy for you. Have fun in the back, everyone else! BYE!

7. You have to make up for your height by being LOUD.

Just like mighty Napoleon, what you lack in height you make up for in personality. You have to be feisty if you’re going to survive in a world full of tall people. And since you can’t control the room with your physical presence alone, you take the next-best option and command attention with your vocals.

8. You have to stand on your tiptoes to kiss.

Kissing might seem like a struggle for some, but we all know that you're the cutest thing ever when you get on your tiptoes. You may have to stand at strange angles that cause debilitating muscle cramps, but you make it work.

9. Grocery shopping is a literal nightmare.

Balancing a shopping basket while trying to reach for something on a high shelf is hell on earth. You have this big, awkward container that you have to hold while you’re stretching from your toes to the tips of your fingers. It’s a recipe for disaster.

10. People always end up being impressed with you.

Even the most confident short people feel like we have to prove to everyone else that we aren’t meek and helpless. FYI: We’re fierce! We prove that big things really do come in small packages. At the end of the day, people are surprised by how rad we are.

11. People always try to lift you.

Anytime someone tries to be funny, he or she feels the need to lift you off of the ground. It’s supposed to be endearing, I guess, but it’s actually rude. You’re a person, not a plaything. Luckily, people quickly learn that this behavior is not going to fly. You're not afraid to stand up for yourself, no matter how big the other guy is.

12. You take the inevitable nicknames like a champion.

As a short person, people will undoubtedly refer to you by a manner of unintended insults. Though they aren’t intended to be hostile, these nicknames are straight up uncalled for. After years of putting up with this BS, you learn to take the haters in stride.

13. Hugging people is extra cozy.

When it’s time for a hug, you're the perfect teddy bear. You may not be able to get your arms around the other person, but that somehow makes it even sweeter. They have to bend over to hug you, while you have to stand on your toes. The balancing aspect is definitely awkward, but it doesn't make hugs any less wonderful.

14. People underestimate your athletic abilities.

Yeah, you might be short, but that doesn't mean you're not athletic. So what if you don't tower over the competition? What you lack in height, you more than make up for in speed and craftiness. It's easy for tall people to sit back and rely on their long limbs to carry them to victory. But we short people don't have that luxury. We have to out-play and out-hustle the competition.

What better way to contemplate what makes you great than while in the shower? It's where we short people have our best ideas. No matter your size or style, embrace what makes you unique and attractive to the world.  Check out how AXE Shower Thoughts explores creative and original ideas that occur in the shower and helps guys celebrate the “thing” that makes them an individual here: