Girl wants boy to declare his love. Man wants to buy things so he can sleep with girl. If you pull away all the streamers and cheesy cards, and strip it down to its bare pink and white bones, Valentine's Day is really just a giant metaphor. It’s a giant, disgusting, bloated symbol of the protocol men and women have been forced to believe is natural and wholesome.
There’s nothing natural about Valentine's Day. It’s a disgusting and unnecessary display of forced affection that makes most men cringe and certain women swoon. And I’m ready to talk about what it really is, even if no one is ready to listen.
I’m not saying this because I’m bitter and alone this Valentine's Day. I may be bitter, and I may be alone, but I’m not a bitter single woman. I hated Valentine's Day when I had a boyfriend.
I hated the unnecessary attention, forced affection and the level of importance and pressure placed on what is typically a normal day of the week. I hated when my high school boyfriend picked me up for school with roses. I hated the feigned surprise and overt displays of gratitude.
Maybe it’s because I know what Valentine's Day really is. I’m not going to say it’s a mass-produced money venture, meticulously created and calculated by corporations, even though that’s what it is. Instead, I'm going to point out its true meaning: It's everything that’s wrong with men and women today.
It’s those annoying girls who will bitch to their single girlfriends that their boyfriend got them the wrong bracelet. It’s those guys who think if they spend money on a Valentine-themed dinner, they’ll get laid (and they will).
Most importantly, it’s having to hear every single girl use it as a day to bitch and moan about their lives. However, I must ask, why does this day make you any more sad than any other?
Men are showering women with affection all the time. Do you cry when you see a couple kiss on the subway? Do you cry when you hear your friend got a diamond necklace from her boyfriend of six months?
Do you cry when no one is taking you out to dinner? Hopefully the answer to all of the above is no, so why does this day upset you more than any other?
I’ll tell you why you’re really crying. You’re crying because life isn’t fair and everyone sucks. That’s right, everyone just f*cking sucks. These girls with their fake hair, fake boobs and fake personalities getting wined and dined by these fake guys with their fake jobs and fake smiles.
You don’t want to be them; you were them once and you were miserable. What you’re really crying about is that suddenly you’re made to feel like something is wrong with you.
This isn’t the first and surely not the last time you’re going to feel like the whole world is against you, as you’re forced to try and find someone to love you. But why does that need to be the ultimate goal? Why are men and women placing so much emphasis on the relationship?
Why, when we saw exactly how our parents turned out, are we pretending that monogamy is even an option? Why, in a generation full of revolutionaries and free thinkers, are we still allowing this holiday to exist? Why can’t we tell Hallmark and all the parent corporations and subsidiaries to f*ck off?
I’ll tell you why we can’t do it. We can’t forget about Valentine's Day because as revolutionary and inventive as we are, we’re still stuck in the outdated system of man woos woman, woman sleeps with man.
We’re still stuck on the idea that man has to make grand gestures and woman must respond appropriately. We’re still stuck on the prehistoric notion that couples should be celebrated and individuals should be shamed.
Don’t get me wrong, love is good and maybe the only thing really worth living for in this shallow world, but it’s not easy to find and shouldn’t be celebrated if not real.
There are too many phonies out there (yes, I know this is starting to sound like a monologue of Holden Caulfield) just trying to prove they’ve found something that’s really nothing more than a fleeting hook-up between a guy who hasn't had sex in six months and a woman looking for some attention.
In my opinion, if it is real, you don’t need a holiday to show you appreciate it. You shouldn’t need one day a year to buy your woman roses, or buy lingerie for your man. If it’s real, you don’t need to make a dinner reservation on the most crowded night of the year to feel intimate with your significant other.
Valentine's Day is for imitators. It’s for people who don’t know how to act unless directed by cues. It’s for people who are superficial, materialistic and trying to fill a void.
So, if you’re not celebrating Valentine's Day (whether you’re single or coupled), consider yourself revolutionary, unique and just downright better than everyone else. Because anyone celebrating one of the most known consumer-oriented holidays of the year is just over compensating.
Top Photo Courtesy: Love This Pic