12 Reasons Why You Should Date Yourself Before You Date Anyone Else

by Gigi Engle

With all the noise we’re constantly barraged with, concerning the importance of finding “The One” and putting yourself out there and being social, it can be hard to rise above it, tone it down for a hot second and remember the most important person in your life: you.

Building your relationship with yourself is crucial to building healthy relationships with others.

You need to love yourself before you can love another person the way the both of you deserve.

The whimsical romance you have with yourself is the longest relationship you will ever have in your life, so you better make sure you have a beautiful, fruitful bond.

That kind of confidence comes more fluidly when you have no problem with -- nay -- you enjoy spending time by yourself.

It’s a time for retrospective thinking, to delve into your own interests and really map out what kind of life you want to make for yourself in this world.

It’s a time for the kind of necessary selfishness it takes to grow the spirit.

Love yourself. Love being with yourself. Take yourself on a date.

1. You need time to be alone with yourself

Taking yourself to dinner or out for cocktails is an opportune time for self-reflection. Going out by your lonesome can be intimidating.

It seems so out of the norm, sitting by yourself in a restaurant, complete with mood lighting, surrounded by happy parties of two or more.

But it’s important to learn how to be content being on your own, with only yourself for company.

You just might find you are incredibly delightful to be around.

2. No one will ever love you like you love you

Self-love is a crucial thing to attain before trying to find love out there in the social jungle of life. You are your number one fan.

Even if you have no one to love you, it shouldn’t matter. The love you have for yourself is the only love you need. If that isn’t romantic, I really don’t know what is.

3. You don’t have to worry about what you order

You have no one to give you approval when you order that salad or to be impressed by your native ability to use chopsticks.

When you’re out with yourself, you can order that juicy steak without a second thought.

Sure, you shouldn’t be choosing your food based on someone else regardless, but there’s something so phenomenal about savoring a delicious, indulgent meal without another person present.

You get to really taste everything and focus on each sumptuous bite.

4. Conversations aren't always meant for two

When you take the time to find solitude in a crowded place, you find yourself inside your own head.

Going out to dinner doesn’t need to be a time for small talk and forced laughs; it can be a time to truly explore your thoughts and delight in your dreams.

There is no one there to judge you, no one there to offer an opinion — just you and your wandering mind.

5. There’s no uncomfortable “split the check” situation

What’s really better than a good meal that doesn’t come with the ultra awkward “Am I paying? Are you paying? Are we splitting? Should I Venmo you?” moment?

When you’re on a date with yourself, you know exactly how this breakdown is going to go.

Eliminating the bill discussion will make up for whatever mild discomfort you felt dining alone.

6. There is no need to compromise

When you’re on a date with yourself, there is no arguing about where you should go or what you should do.

You get to make those decisions all by yourself because you’re only pleasing yourself. It’s the perfect opportunity to be selfish.

You can go try that new spot in town your friends weren’t feeling or indulge in a cappuccino at a coffee shop and start writing your next great work. You are simply doing you. That is a glorious thing.

7. You never know what might happen

You have no set plans, so who knows what kind of adventure the night could turn into.

It is exciting and mysterious spending time by yourself. You have to be confident to get by.

Others will find you more approachable while you carry an elusive air that is decidedly appealing.

An evening that started as a simple martini alone in a dimly-lit bar could easily become a spontaneous night out dancing with a beautiful stranger.

8. Sometimes the only date you need is a good book

Getting lost in a book is one of the most magical experiences you can have. You get to explore a world outside of your own and escape reality for a little while.

It’s therapeutic to dine alone and venture into the plot of a character you relate to. Your favorite authors have the power to be the best kind of company.

Plus, if you really do not want to be bothered, reading a book is a surefire way to stay in solitude during your “me date.”

9. You need to take time to ask yourself questions

Sometimes, facing the hardest questions in your life can be extremely overwhelming. The best way to avoid them is by surrounding yourself with company to keep busy.

While you’re being socially present, you’re being introspectively silent.

It’s important to take time alone to analyze those questions and find true answers. That is how you find peace of mind and peace of self.

10. You get to truly explore the world around you

People-watching is a fascinating activity. Sitting at an outdoor café, casually observing passersby gives you a unique look into the human condition.

Being on your own also gives you a chance to slow down and observe the details of your surroundings thoroughly.

It’s easy to get caught up in the frivolities of vacuous conversation and wine that come with a group dinner, but it’s an entirely new, enlightening experience to be alone.

11. You get to actually dress up for yourself

You’re the only person you need to impress. You can go out in sweatpants or dress to the nines. As long as you’re comfortable, that is all that matters.

Sometimes it’s nice to get dolled up, even if you’re the only one who sees your outfit. Do what makes you feel good about yourself.

12. You need to like yourself enough to treat yourself

You should never feel guilty for taking yourself out for a fancy dinner or an elaborate movie date complete with overpriced, over-buttered popcorn. You deserve a little pampering.

You don’t need an SO to make going out on the town worth your while.

When you’re comfortable in your own skin, you’re the only person you need to be around to feel satisfied.

You should want to treat yourself like the princess or prince you are.