29 Life-Questioning Thoughts Every Senior Has Before Graduating


It seems like yesterday, you were nervously waiting for the elevator to bring you up to your dorm floor.

You walked down the hall, found your dorm on the left and entered the tiniest living space you ever saw.

The compilation of everything that has happened in the last four years brings a smile to your face and makes you slowly shake your head in disbelief that it's almost over.

Disruptive thoughts creep into your mind without warning, and panic sets in when you realize you may not be fully prepared for what is about to happen.

Here are the questions that go through your mind as you prepare for graduation:

1. Did I register for graduation?

I remember getting the emails about that, but I don't think I ever filled anything out.

Nope I definitely did. Wait...

2. What is a graduation fee?

Shouldn't my tuition have covered that? Do they really need another $40?

3. Has everyone else already found jobs?

I'm pretty sure that d*ck from my poli-sci class mentioned something about an offer from Google.

4. Should I have completed more internships?

I was barely able to handle one. It's not realistic to expect me to have three years of experience coming out of school.

5. Do I need to wear clothes under my ceremony gown?

It's gonna be hot in there.

6. Do I really want to walk at graduation?

Those are three hours of my life I won't get back. Worth it?

7. How many credits do I have?

That badminton course was a mistake.

8. Is that enough?

164 sounds like a lot. I would let me graduate.

9. What if I fail my senior seminar?

That professor did give me a you poor delusional soul look the other day. What was that about?

10. Do they offer that in summer session?

They don't, that would make too much sense.

11. Why did I sign a lease in May?

I. Am. An. Idiot.

12. Can I at least stay for the weekend?

This can't be happening.

13. Who will help me move?

Oh, hey, friends who are also graduating: Want to help me move on graduation weekend?

The answer is no.

14. How drunk can I get before the ceremony?

If I don't wear heels, the level is exponentially higher.

15. How drunk can I get at the ceremony?

I don't even need to speak. Just walk.

I should practice the night before.

16. Can I sew a pocket in my gown?

There must be a way. I guess I bought this graduation flask for nothing.

17. Do I have to return my cap and gown?

I contend the hand-stitched pocket adds value, if anything.

18. Did I order my cap and gown?

Definitely ignored those emails.

19. How is this cap one size fits all?

This was not made to be adjustable.

20. Will it really affect my GPA if I don't take this final?

If only I put as much effort into my classes as I just did into figuring out that percentage… actually, let's not go there.

I'm leaving that thought alone.

21. How soon should I have a job?

Six months seems reasonable — or 12.

Give it a few years.

22. How do you write a résumé?

Cover letters will be the death of me.

"Went to Mexico for spring break twice" definitely equals "Spanish proficiency."

23. Is that how you spell résumé?


24. Is Netflix a skill?


25. Should I live at home this summer?

I never actually learned how to cook and paying rent doesn't seem like something I'm ready for at this point in my life.

Maybe next year.

26. Where are my friends living after graduation?

It can be like high school again.

Maybe it will be the cool new thing: Living with your parents.

27. When will I see them again?

Don't go there.

Stop. You. Will. Not. Cry.

Girls night!

28. How many job offers do they have?

Maybe it's not too late to graduate in five years. I should fail my senior seminar class.

I am not proud of these thoughts.

29. Do I even know how to do anything?

Again, badminton was a mistake. A very fun mistake.