Never Give Up: 3 Reasons Resilience Will Always Trump Failure

by Tamara Tisdale

If you would’ve told me I’d be where I'd be today at my college graduation, I would’ve given you that “you can’t be serious” face.

I’m sure that by the age of 25, many of you envisioned yourselves at a certain point in your careers (probably making at least 50 to 60k+ annually), living in a certain area with your SO (outside of your parents' home) and driving a pretty decent car (mine was a BMW).

But, for many of us who reached this age, this is not our reality. And, if this is your reality, it sure as hell isn’t mine and I am not afraid to admit that.

But, I do congratulate the few of you who managed to get your sh*t together by this tender age.

But, does this mean we’ll say “f*ck it!” and throw in the towel? Of course not.

If anything, this ignites the light to our burning passion and desire that is embedded inside each and every one of us.

Life is a journey where the choices and decisions we make ultimately shape and influence our outcomes.

The formula to life is actually very simple: What you put in, you get out, and if you don’t put in any effort at all, you’ll end up with nothing.

I have always been somewhat of a free spirit; one of those creative, rebellious types who always (but unknowingly) goes against the grain.

My erratic decisions (sometimes behavior) are embedded in my DNA and people who think they have their entire lives planned out bore the hell out of me.

Although my disposition as an irrational individual manages to keep me somewhat sane, there came a point in time when my reality set in.

I realized I could no longer walk away from corporate positions because I was bored and despised what I was doing.

I could no longer wallow through life without implementing a plan for myself when I knew there were specific goals I needed to achieve.

But, let’s not get it twisted. Don’t think that with a plan, you will not encounter failure because you will.

Failure, as we all know is inevitable, unless you’re Floyd Mayweather in the ring.

Instead of focusing on and being afraid of failing, channel that energy into figuring out how you’ll bounce back when you do encounter failure.

Resilience is one hell of a trait to possess, and it’s always been one of my strong suits. Whenever I’m faced with adversity, knowing I have to accomplish the goals I’ve created for myself keeps me driven.

There is literally nothing in this world that can stop me or you from achieving whatever it is we set out to do.

I also understand that embodying traits of resilience may be easier said than done, so here are three things you can start doing that will allow you to stop feeling sorry for what you haven’t done (yet), and start becoming the amazing individual you were created and destined to be:

1. Optimism isn’t easy, but it sure as hell beats being pessimistic.

Pessimists or “Negative Nancys,” as I like to call them, make me sick. They literally suck the life and passion out of people without even realizing it.

They have a tainted perspective on life and their attitude reflects just that. Stay away from these types of people, especially if you are someone who's impressionable.

Your reality is not their reality. Try surrounding yourself with “like-minded” people who share similar goals and perspectives as you, and if you can’t find either of these types of people, being alone never killed anyone.

Take some time away from your social life to truly assess your goals and gain a fresh perspective.

2. Running to criticism.

“Running to criticism” was one of the mantras of my previous corporate employers, and at that time, I truly believed it was the dumbest thing I ever heard.

I couldn’t understand why anyone in his or right mind would willingly want to place him or herself in the uncomfortable position of being critiqued.

It wasn’t until years later that I understood the power this saying possessed. Anyone who is willing to become aware of his or her flaws is a winner.

Acknowledging, but not defending your flaws is a pivotal step on your road to resilience. Everything you do will not always be right.

In fact, you’re probably doing a lot of sh*t wrong, which is why you’re reading this article.

Learn to embrace criticism, and you will begin to grow in ways you can’t even imagine.

3. Learn to adapt in every situation.

Lil' Kim once said, “I’m from Brooklyn, I be everywhere comfortably.” There will be instances when you will be in uncompromising, very f*cked up situations.

We’ve all heard the famous saying, “never let 'em see you sweat,” and that’s exactly what you have to learn to do.

Possessing a “fake it til you make it” mindset leads to developing overwhelming confidence, you’d be surprised how easy it can be.

Practice entering any and every situation like you’ve been there before, although you obviously haven’t.

This will allow you to learn how to be flexible, and will subtly teach you how to overcome adversity.

So, the next time you encounter failure, you’ll be able to adapt to changing circumstances without feeling defeated.

And lastly, I hope that by this point it’s understood that you will not be able to become resilient if you have not implemented any goals for yourself.

Without having set goals in place, what are you really striving toward? The answer is nothing, and before you know it, you’ll be failing before you’ve even begun trying.