Things Every Man Should Have In His Wallet When He Goes Out
Carrying around your essential possessions is oftentimes an unnecessarily arduous task for the Elite man. Men don't carry purses, and barring that you live in Europe, you most likely don't own a Hermes murse. Women arguably have it much easier because they can load their bags with essential items (Although a significant amount of these items have no real purpose).
Men are left with very meager choices when trying to transport essentials in an efficient, but socially acceptable fashion. We need to fit all necessary items into a neat, compact pouch of leather--preferably from Tom Ford.
This can be somewhat difficult since your daily requirements will certainly vary, but we certainly are not about to condone lugging around a gargantuan 80s style wallet. The Elite must remain current. Thus, we have decided to compose an Elite list of items that should always be present in your wallet.
Cash
We’re aware that a significant portion of 21st century transaction are completed via credit or debit card, but it is prudent to withhold cash as you never know when dire financial straits might arise. We know you’re Elite, but even you one day might go on a lavish spree and max out all your cards.
Being stuck in this scenario with no cash is the last position you want to be in. You might also have to handle a crazy girlfriend who takes steps to cancel all of your cards after you’ve angered her. Regardless of the specific case at hand, you will always have additional security with emergency cash in your possession.
Another reason why cash is important is that it leaves no trails. If you ever need to get a hotel room for yourself and your escort or even buy some gifts for your mistress, you can rest assured that your beloved one will never discover your discrepancies.
The business card of a lawyer
Look--shit happens, gentlemen. For many of us with a dearth of luck, shit happens far too often. Minor occurrences can always be handled with some cash and a formal goodbye, but when things take a true turn for the worse you can always grasp for the business card of a lawyer you put in your pocket as insurance. You never truly know what may happen on a guys night out. You might just have a drastic turn of events reminiscent of the Hangover. At this point, you’d surely be elated to discover this business card on your person.
Condom
While this may seem to be a fairly obvious staple, you’d be surprised at how many men have forgotten to bring a condom out. Most men in committed relationships never carry condoms because of the fear of raising red flags in the minds of their girlfriends. However, it is always important to keep one close by in case of unforeseen sexual encounters.
It’s bad enough to cheat, but she’ll REALLY kill you if you transmit an STD as well. Who knows, your drunken charm might manage to net you a young coed who has no other desire than to pleasure you to the fullest extent of her abilities. You surely wouldn’t want to pass on that… Would you?
Plan B pill and Cialis
After the first lust-filled romp of carnal pleasure with this coed, you’re surely ready for round two. Unfortunately, your drunk mind is unlikely to grasp the crucial nature of condom use and you might decide to enter her raw. You’ve already placed yourself at risk for an STD, but the worst case scenario would be impregnating your one night stand. What’s the solution? Give her that plan B pill you have stored away.
Now for the Cialis… The Cialis is for those drunken nights when you want to go for a 3rd, 4th, or even 5th round and perform like a stallion. You’re already impaired enough when drunk, you certainly don’t want to fail to impress her with whiskey dick.
Matches or a lighter
Regardless of your opinion of smoking, it’s good to have a lighter on you whether you condone it or not. Why, you might be wondering? If man night gets too out of hand and you somehow end up in the woods, you can safely make a fire. Besides that, and arguably more relevant to your goals, there are always women lingering outside of clubs smoking cigarettes. Many of these girls lose their lighters and are incessantly begging for someone to help them light their cigarette.
You, being the gentleman that you are, will be the one offering her lighter and this can spark great conversation. Who knows, this may even lead to the greatest one night stand of your life! If you’re really crafty, you’ll even carry around a spare cigarette with you even if you don’t smoke, as there are extremely high chances that there will be a scavenger outside begging for a cigarette. However, this is a little creepy and quite reminiscent of a scavenger.
The phone number of someone to bail you out of jail
You most likely already have memorized the number of your closest friends, but imagine for a second that you accidentally drank too much Alacran tequila and your current fixation is testing the waters of your new woman of interest. Do you honestly think you can recite those numbers now? Do you even think you can remember your own? It’s best to have it written down in your wallet just in case something goes foul, like you lose your phone or you get arrested.
Something to write with
We know it’s generally preferred to store everything via smartphone, but these devices DO malfunction from on occasion, you know. Envision a scenario in which your phone has just died and you have met the girl of your dreams. If you just depend on her to text you when you give her your number it might just never happen. To prevent this tragic scenario, keep a small wallet pen just in case you need to jot something down.
If your girlfriend goes through your cell phone each day, you might want to just write numbers down before you store them after returning home from a night out. Be under the radar. (Note: This could--and almost certainly will—backfire since you are leaving a paper trail of cheating just waiting to be discovered by your girlfriend. Preferably, curb your desires.)
Spare key
This one is a little tricky, as if you lose your wallet with your house keys someone could easily use your ID to find your home and have a mini shopping spree with all of your personal possessions. Nonetheless, it’s usually a good idea to at least keep a spare car key in your wallet in the event that you accidentally lock your keys inside your vehicle.
We’ve all endured this annoying tragedy, and nothing would be worse than attempting to leave with a beautiful girl and noticing that you’re missing your keys. Buzz kill and bang kill for sure!
Elite.
