The Real Reason Behind Our Human Tendency To Love Possessions And Use People
People were created to be loved. Things were created to be used. The reason why the world is in chaos is because things are being loved and people are being used.
I’ve been thinking about the different versions of this quote a lot recently. I wanted to understand it on more than just the common sense level. It’s true: We love objects and we use people, but why?
There’s a deep philosophy behind loving objects and using people. I was standing at a funeral when it finally hit me: It is impossible for some of us to let go. This stems from our inability to accept loss, our lack of belief in temperance and our refusal to admit forever does not and cannot exist.
When you love someone, he or she becomes part of you; life no longer exists without this person. The strings of your heart find a way to tie him or her in because the thought of losing this person becomes unbearable.
You remove the thought from your mind by simply avoiding it. You force yourself to believe in forever, but unfortunately, it doesn’t work that way.
Love fades, friendships end and people pass away.
The moment you realize you have no control over anything except for yourself, and that there’s a world of people out there who can leave you at any time, you become melancholic. We want great things forever, not for a period that defines the limits of time.
When we invest our love into people, we are taking an inevitable risk. So, we love objects and things in their place. The objects at our disposal become our new best friends: “I love my car, I love my phone, I love my shoes and I love my bags.” Why? Because I am in control of these things.
I get to say when I don’t want my possessions anymore. They can't leave me; only I can choose to leave them. The power to remove these things from my life at any moment is in my hands, no one else’s.
People love power, and when it comes to human life, we have none. We want to let go when we would like to, not when we have to, and this ends up becoming the cliché of our lives.
You should love with everything in you, but know whomever you love is not immortal. One day, some people will no longer be present in your life and you will continue living without them. Admitting to and accepting such a cynical and morbid ideal is difficult, which is why we've reversed the roles of objects and people in our lives.
Human life is disposable to us now. We use people on an as-needed basis and dump them when we're done. People are the objects on which we place wear and tear.
Conversely, our objects are our most coveted items, evident in the way we treat our expensive shoes with extra care; we get screen protectors and covers for our phones; we spend hundreds of dollars to appeal to cultural trends.
At the end of the day, we live under the impression that the people in our lives -- the same people we use without regard -- will always be here. We think we need not be careful with their emotions because people are selfish in the end, right?
People hold the power to say when enough is enough; people can take care of themselves. Ultimately, we believe we have no reigning influence on the people in our lives.
Why have we become such soulless individuals? It's because objects can't hurt us; they can't leave us, and when we invest forever to an object, in a way, we believe in that unreciprocated sense of forever.
When we're happy, time moves so fast. When we're down, it feels like time stands still. Maybe time is to blame for how inadequate we've become at cherishing relationships and maintaining bonds. In a way, time is really just about how we feel.
The limits of time are the excuse we use for our lack of love in life; however, time should be the sole reason we choose to love. We should choose to love what lives and adds intangible value to our existence because forever simply cannot be attained.
We should love people because the purpose of life is to love.
We use people because deep down, our fear of struggle makes us all selfish. We use people for sex, for advancing in the world and for the media people attract our way. Being alone sometimes sucks and it makes our souls dark. Using people doesn’t make anyone better, however; it just spreads the chaos.
It needs to be understood: Life is about loss. It’s about having a certain amount of time in your life and nothing more. If you do it right, you don’t need more than the time you have. People come and go, just as you will, and there is no motive or intent behind loss; it's simply the way of life.
The purpose of loss in our lives is to make us value what we do have when we have it, and to know that in this moment, what we have is ours and it's enough. So take risks, and through every loss, learn how to let go. Learn that loss is not to be feared or hated; it is but the only reason people cherish life so much.
This life really is only as temporary as we are.
Photo Courtesy: We Heart It