7 Life Lessons We Can Learn From Strippers: Both In The Bedroom And Boardroom

by Kgazm

So maybe strippers aren’t the first people to come to mind when we broach the subject of role models. However, these ladies are entrepreneurs who know how to get the bang for their buck. Strippers have an implicit connectivity of their professionalism and sexuality, and if you ever find yourself lacking in either department, maybe it’s time for the strippers to give you some tips.

1. The Power of Negotiation

A skillful stripper never goes into a deal with her eyes closed or her booty unclapped. She names her price up front and deals with negotiations in stride. She always has the upper hand, but she’s never unreasonable.

In business it’s extremely important to stand your ground, but it is also important not to be inflexible. And if strippers have taught us anything, it’s how to be flexible. Make sure business is handled on your terms; however, make sure that you are amenable to suggestions. The purpose of negotiation is arriving at a conclusion that makes both parties happy – just make sure yours is of the lasting, monetary variety.

The same goes for the bedroom, it’s important to define your desires up front and to work from there. Make sure you get yours. At all costs. Though negotiation does involve more than one party (as many as you’d like, really); so equip yourself with an open mind to accompany those open legs. Prepare yourself for surprises and to be exposed to new ideas; you’ll never know when you can cum to an agreement.

2. Utilizing Your Sexuality

It’s no secret that a stripper makes her money from her sexuality. And she’s not making it one. She flaunts her goodies on stage, in all states of undress, and lures attention – the better she is, the more money she makes. Because a stripper – well – strips the thin veil between business and the commodification of sexuality.

It’s not my place to condone the ritualized objectification of women in the workplace, nor is it my place to condemn a woman who uses this to her advantage. This is not to say that you should neck your way to the top, but to be in constant awareness of the effect you have over people. In business, men use masculinity as a force, whether in acts of bro-manship or intimidation. Your sexuality is a tool, not to be abused, but exercised.

As for the bedroom: men go to strip clubs for a reason. They like to look at women. Borrowing a few techniques from the pole to the pillow can’t hurt your sex life. Use your sexuality to your advantage; give as much as you get. We’re the ADD generation and we don’t want a bitch on her back. Get involved. The bedroom is your stage, so make it a performance. Shake what your mommy, Jesus and plastic surgeon gave you.

3. Keeping Back Up 

Strippers keep it legit. Unlike you at your last sorority party, this girl is managed. She’s in an establishment and she’s got herself a whole team of beefy bouncers who will back her shit up should you get out of hand.

Always have allies in business. Make sure that with every move you make, you’ve got a host of people who support you in your decisions in the off chance you fail or have made a business deal that goes awry. You should always have a team to ensure that you have a safety net for any circumstance.

Whether it’s for a break up or for kinky sex, it’s always good to have friends.

4. Expediting The Racks

A stripper isn’t in it for the clothes. Well, partially. She’s got her mind on the money and the money in her thong. She’s usually got a legitimate enough reason for needing fast cash, whether it’s a diploma or diapers. Strippers make bank, and when she does it well, maybe a lot more than you think.

In business, we preach that passion, not money, should be your motivation. But sometimes your passion is making money. It’s a bit of the old bullshit when we pretend that we don’t want to get the stacks. Sometimes we need to cut to the chase, get the money and get out. No frills.

Ladies, I’m not saying be a gold digger – but there’s more than one way to get a rack.

5. The Dynamics of Power and Control

A stripper, beneath all that moralization and vajazzle, is an entrepreneur getting hers. She’s a producer to your consumer and holds the supply to your demand. When she gets on the stage, she’s in control. She dictates where, when, how, who and if. You play by her rules.

In business you have to take charge. You have to make sure you’re the one everyone turns to when you step out of your office. You have to make sure you dominate, that you have the power and that you make things happen on your own terms. You’re no one’s bitch.

A stripper commands attention when she’s on stage. She can pop her booty and men will make it rain. She knows what she’s doing and she does it well. She takes control of her actions and knows their reactions. Ladies, whether we like it or not, this pussy is on a pedestal. The ball’s in your court, because he wants to put them there. You can give the way you like, and get all the more. Your femininity is a tool in the bedroom, so use it – and any other tools you’d like. It’s your move.

6. Regulating Your Emotions

A stripper doesn’t hit the/his pole and catch feelings. She’s groped on a daily basis. She doesn’t bring her emotions to the table and she doesn’t get attached to laps. She’s focused on the end game and skips the bullshit.

In the office, it’s important to be impassioned by your cause and fervent in your goals. But you’ve got to keep a level head. You have to make sure reason governs your decisions and not impulsive, emotional responses.

When trying to hit and quit, you’ve got to make sure you’re not invested. Cut your losses and never let a man get to you, unless you want him to. Because sometimes getting yours doesn’t mean getting his name. Know to exercise caution in the f*ck game. Similarly, don’t let arguments and emotions corrode your stable relationships, having you say things you’ll undoubtedly regret.

7. Separating Work and Home Life

A stripper isn’t bringing her bulky boyfriend to the bar, she’s got her baby with a nanny and she’s got a new, skanky name for everyday of the week. She doesn’t bring her problems with her and she doesn’t take any home either.

In business, you should never let anything from the external world affect your work. Similarly, when home you cannot be constantly consumed by work affairs. You need to strike a healthy balance that allows you to keep your sanity, but do your best work possible.

As for your sex life, keep what happens in the bedroom, in the bedroom – unless you’re all about the recap. But if you’re looking to get wild and say some raunchy shit and ask for all kinds of dirty things, it might be best to ensure that your freaky self is a well-kept secret. It makes the reveal all the more rewarding. So choke out, but keep it low-key.

Kgazm. | Elite. 

Photos via Tumblr