The Timing Of Friendship: 7 Signs You've Outgrown Your BFF
You know her dreams, her hopes and her history. Her family feels like yours, and your family always ask about her.
You’ve shared more nights out than you could ever remember, and she plays a pivotal part in most of the stories you tell people. She’s in almost all of your profile pictures and has had the final decision on the douchebags you’ve dated.
But having an airtight past doesn’t always mean it's the best friendship for you to keep.
Here are seven signs it might be time to let go of your BFF:
1. She never asks you about your life.
You’ve started to notice your conversations always go the same way.
You ask her how her day was. She tells you every detail about her day, and then proceeds to talk about her dating dramas, work dramas and everyday dramas without ever once asking about yours.
When your BFF shows no interest in you (or anything other than herself), it might be time to distance yourself. When people truly care about you, they're genuinely interested in how your life is going.
Your BFF should know when something is up in your life, because she is meant to care enough to ask.
2. She interrupts you when you're talking to her about something important.
It goes something like this: You tell her you just heard from your ex today, and she responds with, "That’s so weird! I heard from (insert guy she dated once) today!"
She goes on about every detail of the conversation, and 10 minutes later, you’re still bursting to tell her what went down.
But for some reason, she's now talking about shoes.
She has seemingly forgotten why you called her in the first place. She’d rather talk about her own life than listen to yours.
She always thinks she has a better story, and every conversation feels like a competition.
3. You spend more time talking about people she knows than your hopes, fears and dreams.
You know the annoying habits of her colleagues. You have an intimate knowledge of every little thing her boyfriend has ever done wrong, and you know exactly what she thinks about your other friend's new haircut.
You know what she had for breakfast, and what she wants to do this weekend.
Sometimes, this is great.
But when you want to talk about your dream of becoming a pilot, trekking through Cambodia for three months or your crippling fear you’ll never land the job you want or meet the right guy, she ghosts on you.
She suddenly has something important to do, her phone instantly becomes fascinating or she simply stares blankly at you and waits for you to finish talking so she can go back to whining about her boyfriend.
4. She is only available to hang out with you when her boyfriend or other friends aren’t free.
Have you noticed she is the queen of making last-minute plans with you?
While it's great to have someone you can call on a Friday afternoon to go out with that night, if it forms the basis of your catch-ups, you are her plan B.
5. Your lives are heading in different directions.
At this age, we are all still finding our passions and what we want to do with life.
People change, and it's a beautiful thing.
Can you imagine if we were all exactly the same people we were at 17? We learn from every new experience and grow.
The sad truth is, sometimes, we grow in different directions from the ones we love.
It’s not your fault, and it’s not her fault, either.
But if you're growing into strangers or resenting each other for moving through life at different paces, maybe you're better off embracing your future instead of trying to stay in the past.
If she really is your best friend, she will be happy to see you moving forward with life, even if it means away from her.
6. She sabotages your diet or health kicks.
You're so excited to kick the booze for a month. But suddenly, every plan she makes with you involves a nightclub or a bar, and she shows up with two bottles of your favorite wine.
You tell her you're on a clean-eating kick, and she starts sending you Snaps of her dessert or the burger she had for lunch.
She tells you to treat yourself, and is suddenly full of compliments like "You don’t need to diet, anyway."
It's easier for her if you stay exactly where you are.
This is the competitive streak in your friendship turning nasty. She doesn’t want you to succeed.
7. She tears you down instead of building you up.
While we all love having that honest friend who will tell us when we have food in our teeth or when we’ve picked an unflattering outfit, if you are constantly being put down and ridiculed by her, it’s time to say goodbye.
You tell her you got that great new promotion, and she responds with a comment about how it’s going to ruin your weekends. You buy a new dress you love, and she mentions it's great that it hides your muffin top.
Your best friend should not also be your harshest critic. We do a good enough job of that ourselves
Leaving a friendship can be tough. We all like to believe our BFF will always be there through thick and thin.
But sometimes, you need to put yourself and your own happiness first.
Like in any relationship, if it's hurting you to hold on, you need to let go.
You will open yourself up to new people and new experiences. You will find people who also want what's best for you.
BFFs don't require contracts. Do what's best for you.