The people who get ahead in life aren’t the daydreamers, the artsy, the grouchy or the overly optimistic. The people who run the world? Those people are the realists. Often, being a realist gives you a bad rap.
People take seeing the world for what it is -- seeing life as it is -- as being pessimistic. They see you as someone who can only find the negatives in things. But that just isn’t true.
People who keep it real aren’t sitting around trying to find the “bright side” of the situation like the optimists and they aren’t twiddling their thumbs, being bitches, like their pessimist pals. The realist is getting sh*t done.
You aren’t worrying about what happened or what might happen, you’re figuring out ways to make things go down the way you want them to by working hard.
And, at the end of the day, you know life can be a real assh*le. Things might not work out, but you aren’t jaded enough to let it hold you down.
The glass isn’t half-full and it isn’t half-empty -- it’s half of a f*cking glass, and you’re going to make the most of it.
Here are 21 things only a true-ass realist will understand:
1. Love at first sight is bullsh*t.
On the other hand, lust at first sight? I f*ck with that. As Psychology Today puts it, when it comes to the idea of love at first sight, it “cannot reasonably be taken literally.”
You can’t see someone out at Starbucks and immediately be in love. If you experience the whole clichéd "kismet" thing, it’s because you are DTF, not down to get married.
2. You get what you want by working your ass off for it.
And yet, you don’t always get what you deserve. The only way to get anywhere near your goals is by working night and day and to the bone for it.
When things don’t pay off, you accept this is the reality of life and you move the f*ck on.
3. Sometimes you have to accept you can’t do something because you have no talent.
Maybe you want to act, but you're a terrible actor. Or perhaps you want to be a singer, but you have no voice.
It's a sad, heart-wrenching thing to have to give up on your passions, but it'll be a lot less painful than never succeeding because you have no talent for what you want to do.
4. You’re not going to get your dream job right off the bat.
Your first job is probably going to suck. You may hate your boss, but you’ll have to respect him. You may hate the work, but you’ll have to do it.
You’ll never get to where you want to go without putting in the work in the pit of Job-dom.
5. You better major in something practical.
You know very well no one is going to hire you if you major in Philosophy. Mom wasn’t being a bitch, she was telling you the truth.
6. Your college love is probably not The One.
And he or she is probably not going to change over night and suddenly be a mature adult with a real understanding of responsibility.
Honestly, you’re likely not going to get married for many, many years.
7. Your best friend is Sallie Mae.
Loans on loans on loans on loans. Thanks for keeping up with my life, Sallie Mae. You assh*le.
8. You’re probably not going to meet the love of your life at this dive bar tonight.
So, you should probably just go home and get back into bed. No one ever loved you like Netflix, anyway. Amirite?!
9. If you’re not using condoms, you are a f*cking idiot.
According to The CDC, one-in-every-six people has Herpes. Do you like those odds?
10. The only person you have to blame/thank for your successes and failures is yourself.
Don’t play the blame game. You’re in control of your own life. If you get fired, you probably messed up. If you get a promotion, it’s because you were kicking ass. Revel in your successes and learn from your failures.
11. Staying in a bad relationship isn’t "safe" or "comfortable."
12. Procrastination may sound appealing, but it's the kiss of death.
Sure, it sounds blissful to trade in this report for a slew of shots of Jame-O, but it’s going to be painful when you find your ass fired for not finishing your assignments.
13. If you treat people the way they deserve, they may not treat you the same way.
People are terrible.
14. You don’t dwell on things.
When things don’t work out, you take a deep breath and move on to the next thing because crying over it isn’t going to fix it.
15. Sometimes, there will be no explanation for something.
There will often be no explanation for why something did or didn’t happen. Things don’t always work out for the best.
16. The only truth is Murphy’s Law.
Anything that can go wrong will go wrong.
17. No matter how many times you buy a lottery ticket, you will never win.
1/175,000,000 people win the lottery. Those fools make their money on hopeful idiots.
18. People will let you down.
You know getting mad is a waste of time. You basically invented the phrase, “I don’t f*ck with you.”
You don’t get mad, you just cut people out of your life who screw with you. You don’t have time to believe in “the good in people.” It's not how you get ahead.
19. You will not be able to afford a vacation for the next three years.
You will not be able to save enough money to go anywhere and your five-year plan means jacksh*t. On a starter salary, you’re barely making rent, let alone travel plans.
20. No matter how old you get, you’re probably never going to have your sh*t together.
You can keep telling yourself, “This is the year!” but it's probably never going to happen. This generation doesn’t have its sh*t together and likely never will. Gen-Y for the win.
21. The journey is the destination and it f*cking sucks.
It’s not pessimism. It’s just realistic. And reality is ugly. Bye.