I don’t know what made me go to that first class on syllabus week. Maybe I was actually trying to do the whole “new year, new me” thing. (Spoiler alert: That mindset lasts no longer than a week.)
What I do know is that going out every night since returning to campus was the wrong thing to do.
Anyway, I walked into a fluorescently-lit classroom with my hangover companions, all of whom were wearing big sunglasses and had coffee in hand. I began to scan the room to see if any of my ex-hookups were in my class.
There was only one. (Note to self: Don’t hook up with people with whom you share major course requirements.)
All of a sudden, I noticed a Greek God at the front of the room, whose attire is best described as “business frat-ual.” Good thing I was still wearing sunglasses because once I begin staring directly at him, it's impossible to stop. All of a sudden, he stood up in the front of the class. I found it slightly odd, but he was so gorgeous that I let it slide.
Good afternoon, class, my name is Mr. Sexy and I will be your instructor this semester.
Obviously this wasn’t his real name, but let’s just go with it. I was stunned that such a fox wanted to dedicate his life to teaching hungover undergrads. Immediately, I remembered something: I was a legal adult, and thus, it was legal for me to have a relationship (of any kind) with Professor On-Top-Of-Me.
Politically correct? Maybe not. But isn’t college all about exploring your political values?
Our semester together was one for the books in his classroom. I actually didn't hook up with him, but I learned a life lesson: Hot professors can be blessings, but they can also be curses.
Wondering if you should stay in Instructor Hubba Hubba's class? Take a look at these pros and cons that I learned from my experience with my beautiful, intelligent professor.
PRO: You will actually go to class.
CON: You won’t listen in class because you’ll be studying Professor Bangable’s jawline
PRO: Since you don’t listen in class, you’ll have a valid excuse* to go to his office hours.
*Valid excuses do not include wanting to get a closer look at his face, but it definitely doesn’t hurt that you’ll have a more intimate interaction with him.
CON: He may be oblivious to your advances. When you say, “I could really use help on the Sex and Hook-Up Culture unit," this could result in Professor O-Face giving you a dissertation from a sociologist that will leave you anything but hot and bothered.
PRO: You will want to look your best, so you will make sure you go to class dressed nicely. You will spend so much time doing your hair and makeup that you'll miss the bus and be late to class. At least you'll make a grand entrance.
CON: If it's exam day, a grand entrance is not worth it. Hot guys are important, but academics should always come first.
PRO: You'll want to study his bedroom ceiling.
CON: You won't want to study the course material.
PRO: Not only is he hot, but also clearly intelligent, which only makes him sexier.
CON: If you hate economics and he teaches that course, do you really think you'll be all that compatible?
PRO: Since Instructor Marry Me is most likely passionate about the field he is teaching, you will have an easy conversation starter.
CON: You will spend so much time trying to sound knowledgable on his course topic that you will completely neglect the other 12 credits you are taking.
PRO: Your infatuation will make you feel like love actually exists on college campuses.
CON: If your infatuation distracts you and ends up hindering your grades, it won't matter if love exists on college campuses or not because you will be on academic probation.
All of these points should be taken into consideration when you have a teacher who has the face of Channing Tatum and the mind of Aristotle. Still, having a gorgeous professor is all the more reason to stay in school!
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