I’m not knocking on my lady friends here, nor am I looking to generalize all gay men into one category or push them into certain stereotypes, but there is a lot to be said about having a gay man as your BFF.
My best friend and I have been super close since we were 12 years old and living on Maui. We both moved to New York for college and have lived together ever since.
He’s my main source of support, my rock in this concrete jungle.
I know I can depend on him for anything and he knows the same about me. We’re like brother and sister, Batman and Robin, Seth Rogen and James Franco. In short, we’re unbreakable, unshakable and remarkable.
I have to say that I think a lot of what makes us such a power couple (he’s clearly my gay husband) is the fact that he, as a gay man, shares so many fantastic qualities with myself, but from a male perspective.
I’ve said it before and I'll say it again: Gay men are the best. They have all the emotional wherewithal of a female, while having the same kind of power that we feminists are trying to achieve in the workplace and in relationships.
They’re like women 4.0, and I adore them all. I know that it isn’t fair to lump all gay men into one (although absolutely perfect) category, I just think that gay men make the best friends for any female. Here are the eight reasons why I love having a gay best friend:
1. They always support you
My gay best friend wants me to be the very best that I can be. He isn’t afraid to push me, to challenge me and to make me fight for my goals. He’s been the greatest safety net when I’ve felt my most afraid and my shoulder to cry on when I’ve felt my most vulnerable.
Gay men aren’t afraid to show their emotions; that’s what makes them a lot like girlfriends. There’s no hard exterior or "Mr. Cool Guy" act going on; they just generally want to be there to support you unconditionally.
2. They want to gab about boys, etc.
I love that I can talk to my best friend for hours on end about boys and about my relationships. Likewise, he wants to talk to me about his relationships. I never have to worry about being tuned out, judged or embarrassed about anything I divulge.
Not to mention, you know we have fun playing with his Grindr app while we pregame.
Your gay best friend is the easiest person to talk to because he doesn’t care you were making out with that rando at the bar last night because he was right there with you. This is a time when having a gay best friend is like having a best girlfriend; he's always up for anything and is always right there by your side.
3. They are (relatively) drama free
I tread lightly when I say this, but gay men just have less drama than women. They are no-nonsense, get-to-the-point kind of people.
I love this about my gay husband. If I do something to set him off, he tells me how it is. He’s not into sitting around, being passive aggressive and talking a bunch of sh*t behind my back. He just tells me what’s going on and how he’s feeling, and we mutually find a way to remedy the situation so we can hightail it to happy hour.
4. They tell it like it is
If I look like a beached whale in my horizontally striped, mid-length, body-hugging dress (yeah, not my best fashion choice), my gay best friend is going to tell me straight up that I look like Shamu.
I love that he doesn’t lie to me because what service does it do me to spend an entire Friday evening out on the town looking like Rosie O’Donnell?
I appreciate the honesty I can always count on, even if it does sting a little.
5. They’re clean
Hygiene in the gay community is non-negotiable. My gay husband is borderline (okay, completely, sorry!) anal. It can be a little annoying since I tend to be a bit of a slob, but I appreciate that he wants a clean home and is always clean-shaven with a trendy haircut and smelling like Burberry Homme.
6. They dress to impress
My gay husband is impeccably dressed. I can't even deal with all of these straight men in their high-tops and jerseys. Give me J. Crew, tailored jeans and V-neck sweater kind of guy any day.
7. You always have a shopping partner
Okay, not true of every gay guy, I know. They don't all love shopping, but my gay husband LOVES shopping. It's so nice to be able to spend a carefree day with a male who I know is going to love hitting up H&M and won't mind holding on to my purse while I'm trying things on.
He also won't hesitate to tell me my ass looks fat in those jeans.
8. You always have a handsome +1
I love being single. When I get invited to fancy par-tays, I can always rely on my fantastic, gorgeous BFF to be my arm candy for the night. Sometimes it can be a little tricky finding nice boys since they tend to think he's my boyfriend, but it's so worth it for all of the awesome photos we'll take throughout the evening.
Hopefully we'll both get lucky.
My only lament about having a fabulous, amazing gay husband is that all of these things aforementioned are the qualities of nearly every hot guy in New York. Sigh, I feel like all the good ones are gay. It’s actually quite depressing sometimes, but at least I have the best friend I could possibly ask for.
I love you, P!
Photo Courtesy: HBO/Sex in the City