Still believe that 50 percent of marriages end in divorce? It’s time to debunk the myth. Divorce rates are down to a stunning rate of 17 percent for couples who married in the 90s and 2000s.
Yes, declining divorce rates can be attributed to fewer people getting married at all, but the number one reason why men are not getting married is because of their financial stability.
First Comes Money, Then Comes Marriage…
When he says he’s not ready because his career is not where he wants it to be, he’s not the only one. According to a Pew Research Report, “More than a quarter of those who say they want to marry someday say they haven’t yet because they are not financially prepared.”
And, he’s not the only one who worries about his career; 78 percent of women state a “steady job” as very important to them in choosing a potential spouse.
Because of the pressure to be financially stable, fewer men are getting married. Traditionally, the man held the burden of providing, and when money got rough, so did the marriage. So, couples wait it out, and when they do become financially stable, they choose to get married.
He used to look for a partner who was a good homemaker, but Millennial men are getting married to find their soul mates. When he chooses marriage, he chooses it for the following reasons:
- He looks for love at its truest definition.
- He looks for a partner with similar ideas about having and raising children.
- He looks for shared passions with his partner that can give him greater purpose.
- He looks for marriage to create a work/life balance.
The New Marriage Model
Shared income and shared household duties are building stronger marriages. As gender equality rises in your marriage, your odds of getting a divorce can decrease.
A man is no longer burdened by the responsibility of providing for his family, and the woman is no longer resentful for her duties at home. Both are left to explore more passions and purpose, both individually and together.
This new marriage model has contributed to a decreased divorce rate of only 17 percent, but doesn’t it all sound like a big contradiction? A shared-income household is contributing to a decreased rate in divorce, yet men still feel a pressure to have it all together prior to marriage.
That pressure of having it all together is making men who would otherwise be married single and alone. As a dating and relationship coach, that idea makes me sad. Who determines financial stability? He may be chasing a number that doesn’t exist in reality for most.
There has to be a way for couples to contribute to one another and share their responsibilities as a path to growing together. If you’re not exactly where you want to be in your career, but you have a plan, here’s the type of person you may want to consider for a serious relationship now, based on the new marriage model:
Has a Career Path: Your possible partner may be working towards a goal, but he or she has a plan to get there and a current steady gig to pay the bills.
Is Educated: The couple with higher education is even less likely to divorce, with an 11 percent rate.
Supportive of Each Other: Your partner has to be supportive of your dreams and aspirations. He or she has to know that, sometimes, achieving financial stability for your future family will come before quality time.
Has Shared Interests: Sharing interests will create a balance for you away from the career chase. Maybe you’re active together, or share an eye for the arts? Getting away from work together and enjoying each other's company can help strengthen your relationship.
Has Shared Vision In How To Raise Kids: You may not be ready for kids now, but when you are, you want to make sure you share a vision on having kids, how many and how to raise them.
Lives Within Their Means: While you may not be financially stable enough to get married now, you also don’t want to date someone who is creating financial debt that you will have to take on in the future.
With the right partner, you can have the support you need to reach your career goals and have the love, balance and family you seek.