Being happy is fundamental to living a fulfilling life, but what happens when you just can't find happiness? We have all been there, you know... those moments when you just break down. There is so much being thrown at us on a daily basis; school, work, friends, family, love... sometimes it's just too much. This feeling can and will take over, and at some point it will destroy you.
Fred Jung said it best, "Sometimes you're flush and sometimes you're bust, and when you're up, it's never as good as it seems, and when you're down, you never think you'll be up again, but life goes on."
I will be the first one to admit, I'm out of my freaking mind. Even the slightest negative thought could bring me from 100 to zero in a matter of seconds. I get so caught up in my own thoughts about things, I am not able to see the bigger picture and I get brought into this negative world of things that are wrong with me. I constantly think about what I need to change, or why things happen and frequently ask myself, “What was I thinking?”
Being sad is the worst feeling in the world and there are all different types of sadness, which is probably the hardest part. When you feel sad because you feel lost in the world, it is a completely different feeling of sadness than the sadness that comes from having a broken heart or losing someone you loved. No matter what type of sadness you are feeling, it always comes down the fact that you now feel alone.
I'm done with feeling alone. Why? It’s because I realize that we are not ever really alone, and everyone experiences these feelings from time to time. We all know what rock bottom feels like, and we all know how shitty it feels to disappoint someone we care about. We have all had our hearts broken and we fallen short of something we were trying to accomplish. Insecurities can eat us alive and just because someone looks like they have it all together, doesn't mean they actually do.
Stop allowing yourself to be sad. Here are a few things I practice that help me when I feel at my lowest.
1. Take a deep breath.
Half of my regrets are because I just did not take time to stop, breath, and think about the bigger picture. Acting out of anger will get you nowhere and crying over someone else will only give you a puffy face. When you feel that familiar feeling of sadness starting to brew, just take a deep breath, think of things that make you happy, and instead of acting out, act out by doing something productive.
2. Face your hardships.
If whatever is making you sad can be figured out and rationalized, do this. If this means talking to someone and telling him or her exactly how you feel, then do it. If you feel fat because you just ate a whole pint of ice cream, make it a point to never do that again and go exercise. The outcome isn't always going to go exactly as planned, but sulking in your sorrows is not going to help either. At least you will know that you confronted your sadness head on and tried to eliminate it.
3. Realize there is a reason for everything.
As Marilyn Monroe once said, “Good things fall apart so better things can fall into place.” Life is long, and if you take the right steps to reach your potential, you will figure it out. Keep going.
4. Learn from your mistakes.
"Insanity- Doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results." Einstein, you da man. We should all learn from this. No matter what it is, if it makes you feel bad then it's probably not good to keep it in your life.
5. Separate your wants from your needs.
You need things like water, food and music (okay, maybe not but it helps ALOT) You don't need to get invited somewhere, or need someone to like you. Once you realize that what is making you sad is just a want, you will be able to be grateful for all of the things that you have in your life that are necessities, and you will find peace in that.
6. Love thyself.
No matter what is wrong, just remember who you are and how awesome you are. If that boy you have been crushing on for so long would rather be with someone else, forget him. If you did not land that job that you’ve wanted for years, work harder. Stay focused, stay humble, but most of all stay on your own path. You will get there, wherever there is supposed to be for you.
Life is like a bicycle; you have to keep moving for it to work. Never allow others to affect your happiness, and remember our lives can change at any minute. Appreciate the things you have and the things you want will come as the result of pure attraction. Free yourself, realize who you are, and be grateful. Your happiness and quality of life depend upon it.