The Sext Before The Storm: Why Men Need To Stop Asking For Naked Pictures

by Lauren Martin

Ten years ago, if a guy asked you to send him a picture of yourself, you would most likely mail him a photograph. Okay, 10 years ago we still had Internet, so you would probably email him a scanned photo from a recent family trip to Greece.

Ten years ago, if he emailed you back with the reply, “No, a naked photo,” you would delete your AOL account or call the police.

So when, may I ask, did the first man propose the naked pic and have it stick? When did the first guy not only dodge a slap in the face, but get exactly what he demanded?

When did women start acquiescing to the daunting and perverted request until it got to a point of normality? “I sent my first one at 15,” I recently overheard some 20-something regale her friends with over happy hour gin and tonics.

“I can’t believe you’ve never sent one,” she teased one of the girls. Her confidence and casualness with the topic made the girl second-guess her "prudish" ways; yet I heard, in the back of her throat, the defeat and sorrow in her words.

Like prisoners who have accepted their fate, we pretend we like doing it rather than confront the sad image of how far we have fallen.

Of course, a woman’s body is beautiful and it’s her right to send as many naked photos as she pleases. However, it’s not a man’s right to demand them.

For all of those women who are uncomfortable or uninterested in sending naked pics, it shouldn’t be a constant battle. Like Brazilian waxes and bleached assh*les, we shouldn’t have to give in to some trend created by men.

We shouldn't have to worry about what they will think of us if we don't, or if we do.

These are our bodies, our lives and it's our right to refuse the toning, tanning and snapping.

When did men obtain the right to ask women for such intimate and over-sexualized requests? When did being profane and obnoxious become acceptable social behavior? When did demeaning women to nothing more than a naked photograph become so trendy?

Just because we’ve succumbed to the Internet culture doesn’t mean we’ve lowered our standards for men.

Just because we have Tinder and Hinge doesn’t mean we can treat women like a photo to be swiped over. Just because we’ve let men get away with a lot of things doesn’t mean we should let them get away with this.

It’s not natural

Unlike it might appear in man’s skewed view of the world, women are not always lying around naked. When you text them, requesting some spontaneous photo, they’re not lounging on a leather couch in lace lingerie, ready to throw their shirts off and snap a pic.

There are no props, soft lighting or baby oil on hand to perpetuate man’s delusion that women live in a porno. When you text them for a picture, they are most likely at work or in some stained, oversized clothing, eating bad food and watching worse TV.

It's usually way too early

If you haven’t taken her out to dinner yet, you have no right to ask her to take a photo. Hell, if you haven’t slept with her, you have no right to demand to see her naked.

If you haven’t gained her respect or trust, you have no right to demand something as intimate as a naked picture.

Most women would agree that the naked picture request wouldn’t be half as bad if it were done at the right time, with the right guy. Most men, however, have a tendency to jump the gun and ask for it two dates in.

It’s one thing to ask the girl you’re dating for one, it’s another to ask the girl you met last night at the bar.

There are no do-overs, only additions to the collection

It took a few years, but women are slowly learning that "I’ll delete it right after" is really code for “I’m going to send it to all my friends, and if we don’t work out, I’m posting it on the Internet.”

It’s one thing to ask a woman for a naked picture, but another level of disrespect to refuse to keep it private.

Unfortunately, if a guy is asking you for a naked picture, he’s most likely not the kind of guy who is going to respect your anonymity. Because, as we’ve learned from Kim Kardashian, you give them an inch and they make it viral.

We’re not always in love with our bodies

No matter how amazing you think her body is, she most likely has one or two issues with it. Due to the numerous reasons (the media), women have become insecure with themselves; it’s ironic that they’re the ones forced to constantly bare it all.

Women must perpetually wrestle with hiding their imperfections while simultaneously proving they are comfortable with them. We live in a sick world that demands not only perfection, but complete transparency.

We don’t always want to think about what you’re gonna do with it

Contrary to popular belief, women don’t always like to be thought of as objects. Sometimes, we like to be respected and thought of as equals, peers or even fellow citizens.

As complimentary as men think it is,  it’s just not the way women like to be thought of all the time. Because, as every sensible woman knows, you're not asking for the picture for sentimental reasons...

Photo Courtesy: We Heart It