What Your Enneagram Number Says About You And The Way You Fall In Love

by Rosey Baker

You may have heard about Enneagram personality types, but if not, I'm happy to be the first one to tell you they are more fun than a Ouija board at a slumber party.

The Enneagram personality quiz is the first step to finding out which of the nine personality profiles you fall under.

These include The Perfectionist (#1), The Helper (#2), The Achiever (#3), The Romantic (#4), The Observer (#5), The Questioner (#6), The Adventurer (#7), The Leader (#8) and The Peacemaker (#9).

Kylah Benes-Trapp

It's kind of relaxing to see your whole personality wrapped up in one simple word (or maybe I'm just being "The Perfectionist" about this), but the cool thing about the Enneagram personality test is, it's a model of interconnected personality types, meaning there's a little of each of them in all of us.

Once you've taken the Enneagram test, a whole world of information opens up to you, including the ways in which you work, communicate and even fall in love.

Here's an outline of all the Enneagram personality types and the kind of partner your primary type needs in a relationship:

#1: The Perfectionist

Being a perfectionist is difficult mostly because as a perfectionist, you make it so.

In love, you require a lot of reassurance that you are appreciated just for being yourself. You need this reassurance like you need food or water simply because you're so hard on yourself.

You're most likely to be attracted to someone who values your good advice and who takes on their share of the work in the relationship.

You don't want to end up doing it all yourself, and you wouldn't allow that sort of unhealthy dynamic to exist in any of your relationships.

You are a perfectionist, after all.

The beneficial side of being in a partnership with a perfectionist is, they are more willing to forgive than their name would suggest.

Although, they won't do so without a good heartfelt and well-structured apology.

#2: The Helper

Helpers are nurturing, concerned with the wellbeing of others and sensitive to people's needs, making them extremely supportive romantic partners.

As a Helper type, you tend to focus more on others than you do on yourself, and romantically, you need someone who can remind you that YOU matter, too.

As someone who feels insecure about other people not listening to you as much as you might listen to them, you also need someone who will reassure you that you're interesting.

A downside to being a helper is suffering from low self-esteem. So, having a partner who is proud to be seen with you and reassures you of that will do wonders for you.

#3: The Achiever

Achievers are real work horses. They are energetic, goal-oriented and self-assured.

You need a partner who is independent enough to leave you alone while you focus on your work and who has a peaceful disposition.

Anyone who burdens you with emotional drama is going to get the boot very quickly.

Albert Einstein's wife used to leave his dinner outside of his room so that she wouldn't disturb him in the middle of his work.

Eventually, the marriage dissipated because he felt it interrupted his studies, which basically describes the extreme version of the Achiever.

They're not the easiest people to be with.

You constantly are worried about not achieving the kind of success you'd like to achieve in the world, and you need someone who can tell you how proud they are of your accomplishments.

Ultimately, you need someone who is just as focused on their own success.

#4: The Romantic

Romantics have sensitive feelings and are gifted with good intuition. They're able to find meaning in even the most difficult of life's challenges, and they tend to be creative thinkers with a tendency toward melancholy.

As a Romantic, you need a partner who is lighthearted enough to avoid the pitfalls of your depressive moods, since you don't always want to come out of them. You'll benefit by being with someone who doesn't "go there" with you.

You also need someone who will shower you with compliments, which are your life blood and your fuel.

A partner who respects your intuition and takes your advice into consideration when you say you have a "bad feeling" about something is the one for you.

Oh, and MOST importantly, you'll want to be with someone who will resist the urge to tell you you're overreacting or being dramatic, unless it's absolutely necessary.

#5: The Observer

Observers are skilled analytical thinkers with an above-average thirst for knowledge and an introverted disposition.

It takes them a lot of time to put their thoughts and ideas out into the world, and it can be difficult for them to watch socially skilled people advance faster in the professional sphere.

Observers need a partner who won't try to force them to go out to places they hate: crowded parties, loud environments or basically anything requiring a lot of social interaction.

They also need someone who is a good listener, as they get irritated with having to repeat themselves. It takes a LOT of effort for them to put their thoughts into words in the first place.

If you happen to be the partner of an Observer, also known as "The Thinkers," remember that if they seem aloof, they are most likely uncomfortable.

They need the time and space to process their emotions, so don't try to pull anything out of them. They'll come to you when they're ready.

#6: The Questioner

Also known as "The Skeptic," Questioners' personalities range from introverted and cautious to extroverted and confrontational.

But, they are consistently trustworthy, responsible, and loyal to their friends and family.

If you're a Questioner, you need someone who won't react to your overreactions and anxiety.

You're most likely to be well-matched with someone who will work through things with you, as you need to talk things out as you weigh the pros and cons of every situation.

Since you struggle with having confidence in yourself, you procrastinate often.

So, you need the gentle and optimistic nudge toward new experiences from someone who reminds you that, in the words of Wayne Gretzky, "You miss 100 percent of the shots you don't take."

#7: The Adventurer

Adventurers are lively and optimistic people who are eager to make a contribution to the world.

As children, they look forward to the kind of freedom they'll have as adults, and they will not accept that freedom being compromised once they get there.

As an adventurer, you have the guts to try new things and a unique sense of style. You're a stimulating conversationalist, and you need someone who can keep up.

Your ideal partner will be someone who respects your independence, who doesn't feel the need to keep tabs on you and who doesn't cling to you in any way.

#8: The Leader

Leaders are direct, outspoken, upfront and in charge. They don't appreciate being told what to do or having their plans compromised.

They meet challenges head-on, and they're unafraid of being honest, even when it's difficult.

They often speak in a very assertive way, and they need someone who won't automatically assume that it's a personal attack.

"I'm not angry, I'm PASSIONATE!" is a common phrase for Leaders.

When you scream, curse, yell and stomp around, you need someone who understands that's just the way you are.

You also need someone who acknowledges and sees your vulnerable, tender side.

#9: The Peacemaker

Peacemakers are receptive listeners, supportive and good-natured, but they're terrified of confrontation. They have a tendency to be people-pleasers.

It can be difficult to be a people-pleaser, as they are often judged for being indecisive or lacking initiative.

They can also be a little too sensitive, taking even things like body language personally. So, they need someone who will be aware of this.

For those with a more Leader-like personality, it may seem like being with a Peacemaker would be a tough job, but the truth is, Peacemakers have an uncanny ability to acknowledge all sides of an issue.

They can also take responsibility for their own actions with greater ease than other types.

They make fantastic partners as they're always able to go with the flow, and they are pretty much down for whatever.