If summer isn’t the best time of year to drink, I don’t know when is. You’ve got perpetual sun, warm sand and cool breezes. It’s all beachy waves, kayak trips and shady hikes.
It’s the time when everyone comes together to sit around a crackling fire and roast marshmallows or spend the day by the grill playing cornhole until your arm falls off.
But, the best part about summer is the amount of alcohol is acceptable to consume in public.
Seriously, I can’t think of a better time to drink all day with little to no care in the world (unless, of course, it’s Marathon Monday or St. Patrick’s Day).
Before you know it, one beer turns into seven, and you’re dancing barefoot in itchy, uncut grass you know is littered with lovely gifts from your family dog, but just don’t seem to care.
Or, maybe, you’re on the beach with a group of friends playing volleyball (rather, trying to play volleyball).
What you’re really doing is throwing a ball over a net and watching it fall to the sand while the rest of them watch, too busy texting and bringing those new bottles of Mike’s Hard to their mouths.
It’s all kind of a mess, but you love every second of it.
But, that’s what summer is all about: enjoying the sun, the heat and your goofy friends. And, the fact you get to drink the day away? That’s just an added bonus.
It’s an art, though — a skill, if you will. Day drinking isn’t for the faint of heart. And, it’s not something that can be done on a whim without some serious thought and planning. You all know it.
How many times have you decided to start day drinking at 1 in the afternoon only to find yourself with your head in the toilet and your dignity on the bathroom floor alongside you three hours later? (That’s a rhetorical question, so no need to answer out loud. Remember though, always remember.)
But, it’s times like those that make articles like this useful. Nobody wants to be that guy while everyone else is still having the time of his or her life.
So, before your next all-day drinking binge, read up on these helpful tips and tricks for successful boozing:
1. Absolutely do not drink the night before.
This is important because there’s nothing worse than fighting a hangover when you’re trying to make it through a full day outside, lying on a beach or canoeing down a river.
And, the whole hair of the dog thing really doesn’t work when you’re continuing to pump your body full of the same thing it’s trying to eject. So, start with a clean slate. It’ll make marathoning the next day that much easier.
2. Start your day with a big breakfast.
You always hear it, but I’m going to say it again: Breakfast is the most important meal of the day.
And it’s even more important if you’re going to be filling your stomach with alcohol the rest of the day. You don’t want to get sick before you even have time to enjoy it.
3. Stay hydrated.
Water is your best friend today. Try going for a 1:1 ratio every drink you take.
This will help keep you hydrated, focused and ready for the drinks to come. And, it’ll prevent you from getting sick later on.
4. Pace yourself.
Remember: This is a marathon, not a sprint. Take it easy today. Try not to drink more than two mixed drinks, or three beers, in an hour-long period.
Overdoing it could very easily end with you passed out on the hammock, fighting the urge to vomit into the bushes.
5. Stay away from shots.
Let me be clear: absolutely no shots. Shots are for raging parties and crying over your ex. Shots are not for long-term drinking.
They’re for blackouts and regrets. And before you know it, one shot turns to six, and you can’t remember why you took off your pants.
Don’t think because you ate breakfast, you can skate by on handfuls of potato chips and vodka.
You need some food to soak up all those fruity wine coolers. And, who doesn’t love pizza to the face — am I right?
7. Don’t drink solo.
The solo act only really works with big bottles of Pinot and hours of Netflix bingeing. Other than that, it’s always more fun to drink with friends.
But, besides the fun factor, drinking with other people is just more practical.
Want to send that drunken text? Your friends will instantly stop you. Want to jump naked into the pool? They’ll probably jump in alongside you.
8. Make it an early night.
You’ve been drinking all day, and what a good day it has been. There have been laughs, a few tears and more than a few arguments over who won that last game of football.
But, taking your drinking into the night will only lead to misery. Remember how you’ve been trying to keep your body hydrated and hangover free?
Well, you can kiss that goodbye if you don’t call it quits early enough.
9. Get a full night’s sleep.
Sleep is essential both before and after a binge like this. The day is over. The sun has set. And you’ve won. You’ve succeeded.
You’ve made it to the end of the day with a smile on your face and a BAC that would make your parents cringe.
Now it’s time to rest your mind (and your liver). Well, until next weekend, of course.