Shopping for Father's Day is often one of the most difficult tasks of the year.
How do you get a gift that says “I care about you” without saying “You like really boring things?”
So, I've decided to make this Father's Day a little easier (and a lot more fun).
Below, you'll find a list of 16 items, four in every different “division” of the Father's Day gift world.
Each round, determine which winner moves on in your bracket until you've eliminated the competition, leaving you with the perfect gift for your dad.
(On a personal note, it looks like my dad will be learning a lot about sharpening pencils this year!)
1. The “Classic, All-American Father's Day Gift” Division.
BBQ Briefcase ($83.50)
Is your dad the boss of the barbecue? The BBQ Briefcase is a perfect combination of fun and functional for those summer cookouts.
It also lets him know you really appreciate those dry, tasteless burgers he's cooked up.
A Father's Day Tie ($14-$190)
Okay, sure, it may be a cliché. But dads have trouble staying in style.
There is always something else to spend money on, like the junked lawnmower or new carpet for the living room.
Complex offers 10 ties that are sure to fit your budget and keep your dad's wardrobe from looking as old as he does.
Heated Travel Mug ($24.99)
Instead of the classic “#1 Dad” mug, get him a cup that's sure to warm both his drink and his heart.
The Hot Rod Heated Travel Mug plugs right into the cigarette lighter to keep that beverage warm all the way to the office.
Personalized Pen and Pen Holder ($18.95)
Let's face it: With Dad getting up there in years, he may start having trouble remembering his name around the office.
This elegant, personalized pen and penholder should help alleviate the confusion he may be feeling! It's also useful for signing documents.
2. The “I've Been Talking To Your Mother And Need A Drink” Division.
Home Brew Beer/Rum and Whiskey Kit ($25-$75)
On the positive side, your dad may offer you a beer. On the negative side, you may have to accept it.
Whiskey Stones ($19.95)
Don't let Dad's drink get all watery while he's trying to find the remote. Give him these cool soapstones instead!
This gift is also a great way to convince your dad pour you a glass of his best whiskey!
Beer Glasses ($35-$266)
Check out the Pretentious Beer Glass Company to make a selection.
An entire set runs $266, but if you know what kinds of suds your dad likes, you could always opt to buy a pair of the style that fits him best.
Omaha Steaks ($69.99)
I know, meat isn't alcohol. Still, is there a better combination than beef and beer? Of course not.
So, if Dad's mini-bar is stocked, send him some steaks to enjoy alongside his brews.
3. The “Dad, I Broke Something I Need You To Fix” Division.
Automatic Smart Driving Assistant ($99.95)
This handy little tool can do it all. It can tell your dad how lost he is by recommending routes that will save gas.
It will also tell him why the check engine light is on so he can avoid fixing it for a bit longer. What a handy tool!
Ratchet Set ($25-$100)
Dremel Rotary Tool ($99.00)
If your dad hasn't lost a finger using a Dremel rotary tool yet, he probably doesn't have a Dremel.
This handy, light-weight tool can cut, grind and provide a variety of other functions, making it more useful than Dad himself!
Orvis Many Tools in One ($35)
One thing that makes the Orvis different than most other multitools is the addition of a decent, workable hammer.
This handy gadget is perfect for the glove compartment or the desk, so Dad can pretend to fix things whether he's at work or on the go.
4. The “My Dad Is So Weird I Don't Know How To Classify This Gift” Division.
Skeleton Garden Gnomes ($39.95)
Maybe your dad has poor taste in lawn ornaments and a macabre sense of humor.
Maybe he just really likes annoying your mother. Either way, the skeleton garden gnome must be the perfect gift for someone, right?
Bacon Bandages ($5.99)
Yes, I said Bacon Bandages. Just click the link.
Horse Lamp ($8,583)
Yes, that's over $8,000 for a horse lamp. But, try and tell me your old man wouldn't be impressed by this subtle, elegant combination of artistry and lighting.
How to Sharpen Pencils: A Practical & Theoretical Treatise on the Artisanal Craft of Pencil Sharpening for Writers, Artists, Contractors, Flange Turners, Anglesmiths, & Civil Servants ($15.95)
A complete, 224-page guide on the art of sharpening pencils. It's for the man who truly has everything.