The other day, I was watching "Big Daddy" and, in extremely bizarre fashion, found myself envious of Adam Sandler’s seemingly unfavorable situation.
In case you’ve been trapped under a rock for the past 15 years and haven't seen the movie "Big Daddy," the plot revolves around a younger man who, with the help of some creative screenwriting, finds himself raising a young child unexpectedly.
He initially hates all of the responsibilities blanketed under parenting a child, especially by himself, yet, over time, he grows to love the whole fatherhood thing.
While I don’t think I’m going to ask the next woman I have sex with to forgo the whole contraceptive thing and carry a child for the next nine months so I can pull an Adam-Sandler-in-"Big-Daddy” type thing, I’m also not petrified of having children in the same way many Millennials might be.
I look at it as a phase of life, and like anything else, one you shouldn’t run away from, but rather embrace. I’m not sure what it was about watching "Big Daddy" this time around – and not the first 18 times I'd seen it – that made me kind of want a kid, but something about it left me "feeling ready to be a father."
Maybe not now, but it’s definitely in my five- to 10-year plan. To be honest, I think I would kill it, too.
Every time I’ve stepped inside a Footlocker, and seen one of those miniature pair of retro Jordans (designed for dogs or super young children), I’ve always wanted a reason to buy them. So, even if I were the least practical parent ever to exist, at the very least, my kids would be fresh.
Just kidding. Parenthood is an extremely serious and relevant issue, and one you shouldn't EVER jump into it prematurely – especially never under the pretense of designer toddler shoes. Unless they were OG infrared XIs. Kidding again.
Thankfully, I have the next five-to-10 years to grow up some more, and mature fully, before making any drastic moves. Here are the 12 signs you’ll be a good father although you’re probably not ready just yet.
1. You respect other people aren't the same as you.
It’s never bothered you when some of your friends are interested in different things because you still somehow find a way to connect through a shared common ground.
That’s an important aspect of parenting because, while you might like to spend all of your time following sports, your children might grow up adoring classical music instead.
2. You're extraordinarily patient with others.
Even though long lines at the bagel place on a Saturday morning are never ideal, they don’t knock you off your path... completely.
You understand the importance of patience and letting things run their course, which is why you still find yourself on the couch at night watching the Knicks, despite the fact they don’t win (and fail to cover the spread, too).
3. You excelled as a day-camp counselor.
That one summer when you gave being a “day-camp counselor” a stab was a total grand slam. You low-key enjoyed talking to the kids about sports, considering that’s usually the extent of your conversational scope, and they loved you with the same amount of gusto.
By the end of the summer, you doubled the other counselors’ earnings in tips, too, so having a group of 7-year-olds as the highlight of your social life for three full months certainly paid off in the end.
4. Realistically, you don't sleep anyway.
If one of the most dreaded parts of parenthood is staying up all night on behalf of your kid, you aren’t all that worried. You’ve got that aspect covered, that’s for sure.
You’ll be up until obscene hours of the night or early morning, anyway. Instead of lying in bored, caught up in your own thoughts, at least now you’ll have something productive to do.
5. You have no trouble tolerating your friends' stupidity.
Back during your college fraternity days, your friends were getting drunk to the point they couldn’t really speak properly – or avoid making messes out of everything – on a somewhat regular basis and it didn’t usually faze you.
Young children aren’t really any different, except they won’t get hungover, which means they’ll be entirely more pleasant to be around the morning after.
6. You always lead by example.
You’ve never been a follower and you take pride in that. Despite what your friends were doing, you've always gravitated toward the things you found interest in, regardless of whether or not the masses agreed.
Over time, people started gravitating toward your attitudes because you at least had a positive outlook on the subject.
7. You naturally provide for others.
Of course it was likely on a much lesser scale – perhaps among your group of friends or something – but there are little signals you’re a good provider to keep track of. Parenting is all about providing.
If you’re usually the one who fronts all of your friends’ tickets and allow them to pay you back at their convenience, it shows you’re attentive to the needs of others.
If you had a girlfriend whom you held down fiscally for a period of time, you’re also better experienced to support others outside of your own self.
8. You connect well with other people.
Whenever your friends are going through some sh*t, you’re usually the first person they come to. You’ve always had a way with words and been able to say the right things whether or not the person you’re telling them to wants to hear them.
It’s a refreshing trait and it allows you to remain approachable even during the most uncomfortable of “talks.”
9. You're quick to forgive your loved ones.
You don’t believe in grudges. You'd rather hash things out with people up front and avoid hours, or even days, of awkward, avoidable silence. Regardless of what amount of wrong someone might have done against you, you’re usually open to finding the right way to make up for it – especially with regard to people you love.
10. You’re responsible.
Although you do like to splurge on things from time to time, you don’t spend money extravagantly, and never for the wrong reasons.
While you might’ve spent some extra money on that new iPhone, you also make sure you never drop it, and even if you did, you were prepared with a sturdy case, just in case.
11. You demand respect through your actions.
You demand respect, but rarely have to use any words to do so. It’s seen through your actions and confidence. People would never try crossing you or taking advantage of you, and it’s not out of any type of intimidation; it’s out of respect to you and the morals on which you stand.
12. You're always open-minded.
Sure, you might’ve tried pot, and found it didn’t kill you. You’re open-minded about life and always are willing to experience things first before judging them.
Even during those times when you might not initially be fond of the things your friends are suggesting or saying, you respect their opinions and remain open-minded about them.