Halloween is coming, and we all know what to expect. Your Facebook feed is probably already chock-full of conversations on the holiday, like which variation of cat that girl from your sorority is going to be.
You've also picked up on the fact that literally all men are going to throw robes on themselves, chew on fake cigars, hope they magically attract lingerie-clad women and call it a night.
It's time to switch it up.
You're a seasoned vet; generic costumes aren't going to cut it anymore. It'll be tough (yet rewarding) to come up with a unique costume. Just in case you need a reminder, here are 10 fantastically stereotypical costumes to be avoided this year.
1. Playboy Bunny
It doesn't matter how great that leotard makes your ass look; last year, your date grabbed two random behinds at the Halloween rager you attended together when he mistook them for you.
Quite a spectacle ensued, and you're going to continue believing it was due to the great number of fuzzy bunny tails parading around.
2. Naughty Nurse
This is the most common costume in the history of females. There are so many modifications of it, you can't keep up: zombie nurse, witch nurse, sexy nurse, sexy zombie nurse, dead witch nurse.
When your friends address you by utilizing the oh-so-original, "Well hellooo, nurse!" all night and nearly all the women within a 5-foot vicinity turn around, things get complicated.
Also, for some reason, nurse costumes are cheaply made. Like, to the point that last year, your straightener (which was about a foot away) melted your best friend's vinyl nurse skirt, which was on the bathroom counter for a minute max.
You had to pick up a barely passable replacement last minute, which of course, you found.
3. Bad Kitty
The entire cat family is completely played out. Consider this a good thing.
Do you know how precarious it is to have long ears and a tail wagging around? Serious bait for obnoxious drunk people and, at best, unwanted attention.
4. Duffman, Duff Beer or any overdone variation of "The Simpsons" characters
The only title this costume will achieve is "most likely to give you a rash."
It isn't cute anymore. It's not even a novelty.
5. Indiana Jones
This one's especially simple, since all you really have to do is compile everything khaki you own and whip a belt around all night without actually hitting anyone.
It's also super lazy and not that exciting. Not to mention the fact that it's most often difficult for everyone else to figure out what you are. After all, you could just be from the country.
This is an adorable costume, and it'll be hard to let the possibility go, but I've got one word for you: wings. Wings are the singular most dangerous component any costume could include.
They get stuck in everything: doorways, car doors, your friend's earring, the Uber driver's mesh seat covers. It's just not worth the hassle.
7. Wonder Woman
Superheroes will be massive this year, and there will undoubtedly be gaggles of them all over the place. It'll be like Gotham City up in here.
Wonder Woman is most likely to be everywhere you look because there are so many ways to half-ass this costume, it's not even funny. Stick to a more unique character, like Ivy.
8. Little Red Riding Hood
What is the big deal with this girl? She's oblivious and then gets eaten. The end. Really, that's how the original story goes.
You can most definitely come up with someone of whom to copy the likeness who actually accomplished something prior to being killed or consumed.
Side note: "Grimms' Fairy Tales" are momentously screwed up; read at your own risk.
This would be a really cool costume if you, per chance, had a background in tumbling. Flipping around all night is sure to draw a crowd. But to be frank, if you can't pull off a back-handspring, you're just kind of walking around in black felt all night.
It'll get hot in there. You'll end up taking off the mask, and no one's going to know what you are; trust me.
The idea is cute, but the eye patch thing is so overrated. It's scratchy, and once the cheap strap breaks, you'll inevitably spend the rest of the day finding some tiny metal contraption to secure it with.
Otherwise, everyone will just assume you attended the party as a hobo.
Photo Courtesy: Paramount Pictures/Mean Girls