11 People On The Crazy Lengths They've Gone To For Sex


Everyone has been there. It's that moment when you're experiencing such acute, all-consuming horniness that you'll do whatever it takes to get laid, even if it involves spending money you don't have or inconveniencing yourself to ridiculous degrees.

Maybe you're in the middle of a sexting conversation with your boyfriend who lives five hours away, maybe you're just really desperate to impress a sexy girl you met at a bar, or maybe your f*ck buddy is only giving you a 30-minute window to "cum over," but for some reason, masturbation just won't do. You need to have sex with another person, consequences be damned.

This is the place I was in when I nearly gave myself pneumonia trying to get laid.

I was hanging out in my crush's dorm room with him and his roommates after a senior event during my last week of college. Around 1 AM, we all decided to go jump in the fountain on campus, fully clothed. I was still in my nice black dress from the event, but I figured my crush could just give me a change of clothes when we finished.

Well, I figured wrong. Because after we got back to his room, I sat soaked and shivering on the couch in his living room for three hours, just hoping to get into his bedroom already.

Why didn't he offer me a change of clothes? I don't know. Why didn't I ASK for a change of clothes? I also don't know. I guess I figured the sight of me, a freezing wet dog quivering helplessly on his couch, would make him want to take me under his warm covers and make sweet, sweet love to me. Any. minute. now.

Not only did we not end up having sex, but I got one of the worst colds I've probably ever had in my life. Go figure.

Here are 11 more people on the greatest lengths they've gone to get laid.

What they lack in common sense, they make up for in bed.

--Zara, 29

Everyone likes accents, right?

--Amy*, 24

Avoiding AA, one failed hookup at a time.

--Jason*, 24

At least she graduated on time.

--Lindsay*, 22

Are you sure?

--John*, 27

I'm not really sure who the winner was in this power play.

--Sheena, 25

I hope he made you come at least five times.

--Theresa*, 23

Now THIS is resourceful.

--Mary*, 25

Sounds like it wasn't exactly a home run.

--Robb*, 24

There are so many horrible things about this.

--Gina, 22

What did you guys even talk about?

--Elizabeth*, 23

*Name has been changed.