9 Reasons I Can't Wait To Be A Father, As Told By A Gay Man
If you thought the LGBTQ+ community won its fight when marriage was legalized, think again.
No doubt marriage was a terrific victory, but we still have a long way to go.
Despite a recent judge’s ruling, the Supreme Court of Arkansas refuses to allow same-sex parents to register both of their names on birth certificates.
This affront to their vitally important fundamental rights as parents and human beings is yet another example of the continued discrimination of individuals based on sexual orientation.
It's another sorely homophobic act of government.
In the greatest and most free country on Earth, how can this continue to happen?
Just because I’m gay and raising a kid does not make me different from any other couple in America, gay or straight.
The only difference is we have fought for decades for the right to freely and openly express love for the people we love most.
Fatherhood is among the most important steps in a young man’s life.
I can’t wait to be a dad, and yeah, my children are going to have two fathers.
They'll have two loving, doting, amazing, supportive fathers.
I think the proudest moment of my life might be when my children are born and I look into my husband’s eyes, seeing nothing but pure joy and chill-inducing bliss.
It’s something we’ve dreamed about our whole lives.
Finally, we will be Dad and Daddy (or Dad and Pops), both fathers to our lucky, loved children.
Here are the nine reasons I can’t f*cking wait to be a gay dad.
1. It’s something I’ve dreamed about my whole life.
I look up to my parents more than anyone in the world.
They're the most loving, supportive and kind people on the planet.
Since I became an adult, I’ve dreamed about being a father like my father. (I’d be lucky to be half as good!)
Just like little girls plan their weddings (Let’s be real: so did I), little boys dream of being fathers.
I can’t wait to do simple things, like take them to ball games and teach them how to fish.
It’s a rite of passage I just can’t wait to experience.
2. I get to raise a kid with the person I love.
The best part of getting to raise kids is getting to raise them with another person.
And for me, it won't be just any old person; it will be the love of my life.
It's scientifically proven that children with loving parents develop stronger social skills and have heaps more confidence.
At the end of the day, it's no different for a child to have two moms, two dads or a mom and a dad.
The only thing that matters is they are loved.
3. I'll get to shop with my kids one day and play baseball with them the next.
One of the greatest things about being a gay parent is, chances are, we have lots of different interests.
My husband might love theatre and horseback riding, while I love sports and shopping.
The great thing is, just because my kids don’t have a woman, it doesn’t mean they won’t have someone to shop with them.
I look forward to the days when I take my sons and daughters to get their sneakers and school supplies.
But I’m also a person, so I have varied, multi-faceted interests. (No, gay people do not just enjoy shopping.)
I love sports, too.
I grin at the idea of getting to play catch in the backyard with all of my kids like my dad and I used to do.
And maybe I'll even coach their Little League teams.
And if we need help with giving our daughters “the talk” or helping them with the processes of puberty and becoming young women, I'll luckily have a wealth of knowledge just a phone call away from my sisters.
4. I get to give my kids endless support and love.
I have an extremely supportive family and parents, but my parents grew up in an older, more traditional generation.
So, when it comes to grappling with issues of their children’s sexualities, identities and life choices, it's an often harrowing process.
I can’t wait to give my children unconditional love, to support them becoming artists and actors, to watch my daughter fall in love with a girl or my son fall in love with a boy.
I’ll love them no matter what, and I want to give them the endless support to chase their dreams and live their fullest and best lives.
I want to give my children all of the great things my parents gave to me and more.
5. I get to raise little humans.
This one’s pretty simple: We get to raise little versions of me!
Getting to have little clones of me and my husband is dream come true.
6. I have a lot of love to give.
I have a whole lot of love to give to my kids.
I’m excited to play Dr. Dad and to fix their skinned knees and to take care of them when they're sick at home.
I’m a very loving person, and I can’t wait to spoil the rotten hell out of my kids with love, presents and oodles and oodles of kisses.
7. Two fathers are better than none.
In the end, having loving parents is better than having no parents at all.
Who cares if it’s two dads or two moms? Kids deserve love however they can get it.
In countless court cases on gay marriage, judges ruled the evidence is clear: Gay parents are just as capable — if not more capable — than straight parents of raising successful, happy, healthy children.
And lucky for the kids, they’ll be well-dressed with me as their dad.
8. I get to honor those who have fought to give me this right.
By having kids, I will be honoring those who have fought so hard to give me these rights.
To all of the gay men and women who have been denied the ability to raise children and have fought tirelessly before me, I have two words: thank you.
I can never repay you.
9. I'll create a lifetime of memories.
Wow, I can only smile when I think about all those great firsts I’ll witness and the memories I’ll make with my kids.
I will watch them walk for the first time, and then I'll send them off to preschool and then high school.
I’ll teach them how to drive and even give them away at the altar.
So there you have it.
I’m excited as all hell to be a dad.
I might not have kids for a few years, but now I finally have the right.
We must fight against discrimination like the bigotry that is happening in Arkansas and continue to be champions for love.
In a few years, I’ll be able to go to a baby store with my husband and proudly realize we are buying little sweaters for the baby we are bringing into the world together.
Together is the key word.
Raising your own children and watching the people you have created grow into strong, open-minded, intelligent people is the greatest experience any human being can have.
Millions of gay people have fought for this right, and I’m forever grateful to them.
Thank you for giving me the opportunity to experience fatherhood.
I won't let you down. I promise.