Having your heart broken is not a fun thing to experience, but it’s pretty much inevitable that at some point in your life, someone you love will break your heart.
It’s OK. It happens to the best of us. We learn how to deal with it, and a lot of us become better people because of it.
But I’m not saying this is going to be simple, because truth is, it’s not. No gender hurts from heartbreak any more or less than the other. It stings for both men and women just the same. And no gender gets over heartbreak any quicker than the other, despite how it may seem.
There is just no easy way to get through the grieving process quickly and move on, but there are certain things to keep in mind that can help you, men, heal after heartbreak.
1. Know that time is your friend.
Open wounds hurt the most. Once you properly treat the wound and give it time, it will slowly but surely begin to heal.
Know that as weeks, months and seasons pass after heartbreak, things will eventually get easier to accept and deal with.
It’s completely normal to have a "mourning" period, so to speak, and it really doesn’t make you any less of a man. To be perfectly honest, it shows that you’re even more of a man for letting your guard down…and that’s definitely a good thing.
After you’re done mourning, it’s time to get over it and push yourself to move forward.
You got this, guys.
2. Realize that she might have done you a favor by breaking your heart.
She may have been a complete bitch and cheated on you; you may have been a total jerk and cheated on her.
Whatever ultimately caused your heartbreak, you can be grateful for the brand new chance you have to meet and find someone who is totally dedicated to you…and is not a cheater, or a liar, or whatever broke you two up.
If you were the cheater, you can learn from your mistake and have a better relationship next time around.
3. Accept the fact that if she was not happy, you could never be truly happy together.
It’s easy to assume everything is going smoothly.
It’s not uncommon to be comfortable in a long-term, committed relationship; then one of you realizes that things have changed.
This realization is a major part of what dating is all about…to find out if this is the real deal.
People can change, and relationships can change. But change is not necessarily a bad thing.
Your ex is not a horrible person for recognizing the fact that you’re not the right one for her. If her feelings have gone in a different direction, do you really want her to stay in the relationship just so you don’t get your heart broken?
That would have only delayed the inevitable.
4. You are so much better off having loved and lost than never having loved at all.
I know this is completely cliche. And if your heart is mending, you probably disagree with this point. But it’s the truth, guys.
You played your hardest; you just didn’t win the game.
All experiences in life -- good and bad -- better prepare you for the next time around. You live, learn and come up with a brand new game plan so that next time, you do win.
If anything, take this heartbreak for what it is…a learning experience. She taught you what you like and what you don’t like in a partner. You will know what qualities to look for in the future and which to run the heck away from.
5. Enjoy this stage of single life!
Live it up.
Single status after a relationship can absolutely be difficult to get used to, but it’s just another part of life you have to deal with. And it's actually pretty awesome.
You are free to date different women and spend some time reassessing what you want in life and the type of person you really want to spend it with.
Hey, it’s not so bad… You will have extra time and money to do the things you have on your wish list.
6. Don't beat yourself up.
You can’t keep replaying scenarios in your head, wondering what went wrong. Don’t beat yourself up, because you deserve better than that.
Breakups and heartbreaks are normal, healthy experiences for everyone.
Sometimes, it takes going through a breakup to appreciate a relationship that you'll enjoy even more. Everything happens for a reason, and so did your heartbreak.
Pity parties are not attractive. Now more than ever, you want to look hot. So pick yourself up, hit the gym and get yourself to the right party.
7. Negativity will get you nowhere.
Kick negativity in the ass.
It’s not productive to wish bad things upon her…or anyone she’s seeing. Even though it may be really tempting, don’t go there.
Direct your energy toward more positive things, like meeting new people and spending more time with your friends.
Karma is real. If she did you wrong, she will get hers someday!
8. Stop rehashing.
It’s done. I realize that the great parts were amazing, but there were obviously a lot of not-so-great parts, too -- hence, the breakup.
When you find your mind going back to good memories, refocus. Think of something that really annoyed you about her so you can move on.
And DO NOT, under any circumstances, keep talking about her when you’re on future dates!
9. Enjoy your "me" time.
This stage of your life probably won't last too long, so enjoy it.
All of that time you spent with her is now a lot more free time that you have to yourself.
If she disliked your best friend, now is the perfect time to hang out together without dealing with her wrath.
If she complained when you didn’t shave and hogged the TV while you were trying to watch sports all day, grow that beard out, park yourself right on the couch and watch some f*cking basketball, because you have nobody to answer to now.
Heartbreak sucks, but your "me time" is going to feel SO good, guys.
10. Put the past behind you.
What’s in the past is over and done with. Look forward to the future, and live in the moment.
Get rid of cards, letters, framed pictures and all of the stuff that will make you feel bad when going through them. Flush her toothbrush right down the toilet.
I mean it. Burn it all!
Do not -- I repeat, do not -- store her stuff away in your closet or under your bed, because it’s just going to be a daily reminder of what was instead of what is.
Plus that's really creepy.
11. Resist the urge to social media stalk.
Don’t look at any of her social media accounts. I’m trying to help you out, guys. Pictures are totally misleading anyway.
Any and every picture you see of her and another dude will make your mind go where it shouldn’t be going. And that’s not a fun place.
If a certain food you love doesn’t love you back, you stay away from it, right? And if you can’t drink beer because of health reasons, you aren’t going to buy it and keep it in the fridge.
So don’t torture yourself. Just avoid viewing her life as much as possible.
12. When you get knocked off your horse, you have to get back on.
Give yourself sufficient time to regroup. But don’t be afraid to start dating again when it feels right. As I said before, just about everyone has experienced heartbreak.
Yes, you will be afraid to open your heart up to someone new. But chances are she will feel hesitant about you, too. So just take it slow. Follow your instincts. Don't compare everyone you meet to your ex, and enjoy a new relationship when you are ready. You’re older and wiser now.
Heartbreak will pass. Pick yourself up and get your sh*t together. Hang in there, and realize that when something is meant to be, it will be awesome.