Three's A Crowd: 6 Things To Consider When Your BF Asks For A Threesome

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So, you’re dating a guy who’s cute, smart and charming.

You really like him, and you know he really likes you, too.

You have a lot of fun together, and life’s good.

Maybe you’ve just started dating, maybe you’re starting to get serious or maybe you’re even married.

Whatever point you’re at in the relationship, you know it is coming up.

It comes in like a raincloud creeping on the horizon: the inevitable threesome proposition.

Now, don’t get me wrong; I’m not against threesomes.

Everyone likes to get a little wild occasionally, and if you’re comfortable doing that in your relationship, more power to you.

But if you’re like me, there are a whole series of questions that run through your head when you hear that question come out of your boyfriend’s mouth.

To be honest, it makes me disappointed.

Why can’t we just have an exclusive thing with each other?

Is that so boring? Am I so boring?

In our sex-obsessed culture, it often seems like wanting a monogamous relationship makes you some kind of freak.

To live life to the fullest — as we’re told — we should be out there hooking up with anyone who’s down.

But, sex isn’t everything.

If you’re not into it, don’t do it.

If he tries to pressure you or makes you feel like a prude, maybe he’s not boyfriend material after all.

If you’re tired of being cast as a prop in a male fantasy, here’s how to deal with it:

1. Don’t shame him.

Don’t make your boyfriend feel like a creep.

Everyone has fantasies, so you should praise him for his honesty.

If you shame him, you might make him uncomfortable and reluctant to talk honestly about his feelings in the future.

This is especially important if you think you might want to pursue a serious relationship with him.

2. Tell him he needs to return the favor.

Why is it that men only want three-ways with two women?

Chances are, he’s not going to suggest hooking up with another dude straight off the bat.

If he’s uncomfortable with the idea, this gives you an easy out.

Why should you have to put up with his girl-on-girl fantasy, if he’s not willing to watch you with another guy?

3. You’re not a prude.

Threesomes aren’t for everyone.

They can be intimidating, especially if you’re sexually inexperienced.

While it’s good to try new things, it doesn’t make you boring or prudish to have boundaries.

Don’t let him make you feel inferior.

When’s the last time he did something he didn’t want to do just because you asked him to?

4. Who does he have in mind?

So — surprise, surprise — you noticed him checking out your best friend, and now he wants a threesome with her.

Does he have an ulterior motive here?

Or, will he start talking to someone random on Tinder or Craigslist?

Are you going to wind up in some awkward, embarrassing situation at a bar or nightclub?

Has he even thought any of this stuff through?

Finding a safe, suitable third person is harder than you might think, so make sure he knows it.

5. How will it impact your relationship?

If he won’t commit in other areas like moving in together or giving you the key to his apartment, maybe a threesome isn’t the best idea.

Is this just another little thing that proves he’s not totally into you?

Be sure he knows that you have needs as well.

If this is all part of his bachelor fantasy lifestyle, maybe it’s time to reevaluate your relationship.

6. Is it going to become a regular thing?

Once you cross the line and let someone else into your bed, is he going to think that anything is fair game?

A one-time experience is one thing, but an open relationship is an entirely different thing.

You have to ask yourself, is this just an opportunity for him to cheat on you in the open?