No one loves lipstick like ME. I love lipstick with a unparalleled fierceness. I dream about lipsticks. I really do, kittens.
Let me tell you why: I found my identity in lipstick. The first time I adorned my mouth with a gorgeous violet lipstick, I was just 12. My older sister was babysitting me, dressing me up in her trendy '90s crop tops and velvet chokers and platform shoes. I was in little sister HEAVEN.
"Zara, hold on I HAVE to put this lipstick on you!" my big sister cried enthusiastically. "Sure!" I exclaimed just grateful for the attention from my super cool, stunningly beautiful older sis.
She steadied my head with her delicate black nail polished hands and whipped her MAC lipstick right out of her pink polka-dotted makeup bag.
"Hold still, Z," she said with a focus and intensity I hadn't seen in her before.
She studied my lips expertly as she painted my 12-year-old pout. She took a step back and looked at me quizzically.
Oh no! Did it look sh*tty? I suddenly became extremely self-conscious. It's amazing how adolescence puts you in a heightened state of uncertainty.
"OH MY GOD!" she exclaimed, her face serious, her voice deadpan.
"I'm going to wash it off! I hate lipstick! I hate makeup!" I cried, suddenly fueled with an inexplicable desire to burst into tears (let's blame the wild preteen hormones).
"Don't you DARE," my sister exclaimed in a voice several octaves deeper than usual. She walked over to me and fluffed my hair.
"You look STUNNING. Look!" she cried, pulling me by the shoulders and dragging me in front of the gold-gilded mirror in the living room. I took one look at my reflection and gasped.
Who was this vixen staring back at me?
I wasn't pimply, insecure, seventh grade punk-ass little Zara anymore. I had totally transformed. I was a power babe with purple lips and burning hazel eyes ready to take over the world like a girl super hero. Suddenly I knew the possibilities were endless. I knew there were so many different ways to be a woman. I knew I could be so many different things.
I know I'm a drama queen, but I swear to the holy grail, the higher power up above and the great makeup goddesses of our time: It was one of the most empowering moments of my life.
Now I play with all kinds of lipstick and use different colors to express my vast variety of moods, thoughts and feelings. I love to have outward expression of all that's burning inside of me. That's what fashion and makeup is, right? A way to express all you are on the inside to the outside world, without having to explain yourself.
My first ever job was as a makeup artist at a luxury department store's beauty counter. "What lipstick color should I be wearing?" women would incessantly ask me. I knew it was something deeper. They weren't asking me what was flattering. They were asking me, "WHO AM I?"
I would stare into their soul and somehow come up with the perfect lipstick that embodied the core of that woman. It was a true gift I somehow possessed at 17. I became the top seller of the lipstick in the whole store, much to the dismay of 55-year-old women reeking of Chanel No. 5 and who had been working there for decades.
You know what I learned? It's really all about her zodiac sign. Our zodiac sign doesn't define who we are, but it represents our very essence.
And while all of us girls have the absolute birthright to play and experiment with as many lipsticks as possible (just like we need play with a plethora of traits outside of our zodiac sign), we all need a signature lipstick. A lipstick that represents the core of OUR FIREY, RAW SOUL.
So here it is. Your signature lipstick based on your zodiac sign, my mystical star-loving, lipstick-wearing kittens:
Aries (March 21 - April 19): A Bold, Badass Fuchsia
You Aries were absolutely born to wear a BOLD badass lip. You might be a dangerous-but-sexy fire sign; but I'm not going to put you in a classic red, that's too obvious for my sultry Aries.
Plus you Aries are anything but obvious, aren't you? You like to be unexpected, a little shocking (shock me, I LOVE it) and most of all, fearless.
This is why you need a bold, badass fuchsia that's as unapologetic and fierce as YOU. Mark your territory. Leave your fuchsia lips all over your lovers body. We all know fuchsia lipstick stains even the most well-moisturized skin. Make it so they never forget you, you sexy Aries minx.
Taurus (April 20 - May 20): Deep Burgundy
I'm a Taurus, so I know how the f*ck this sign operates. We are very deep, soulful entities and very, very sensual (we are one of the best sex partners in the great expanse of the zodiac, thank you very much). But though we are incessantly turned on, we aren't overt about it. We are low-key sexy.
We also like to look rich and monied. We're very into anything expensive, chic and timeless. We are the Hermès Birkin bag of the zodiac.
Which is why a deep burgundy is our signature lip color. It's the token vixen color, but it's also classy and not in-your-face, like bright red is. It's dark and stormy and stubborn and sexual and sophisticated, just like our souls.
Gemini (May 21 - June 20): Hot Pink
You're an air sign. Your birthstone is Alexandrite, so your essence has a cool, blue undertone. You look best in PINK and BLUE lipstick.
However, I don't think most of you are freaky enough to rock blue (but if you choose to, you know I support it).
So this is why I'm putting you in HOT PINK. Think about it: You're one of the most alive signs in the entire zodiac. You're teeming with a mental energy and ready to explore all sides of the underworld.
The most versatile yet wildly adventurous lip color is SHOCKING, BRIGHT, HOT PINK. Don't freak out, I know some people stigmatize the pink lip -- but come on, Gems, since when do you give a f*ck about scaring anyone off with your hot lips?
Hell no. That's not how you roll. Plus, because you're naturally versatile, you can rock your bright pink lippy in all kinds of ways. You can be an ironic, sexualized Barbie, or playful kitten or a disco queen of the NIGHT in your over-the-top lips.
Also, you're one of the only zodiac signs that can really rock the glitter lip. Tap some glitter on the top for extra drama.
Zara's picks: Super-Saturated High Gloss Lip Color in Big Bang, $10, Urban Decay; YSL ROUGE VOLUPTÉ in Fetish Pink, $37, Sephora; Mac Matte Lipstick in Candy Yum Yum, $15, Nordstrom (dab a little glitter from the local art shop on top)
Cancer (June 21 - July 22): Velvety Matte Passion Red
Oh my sweet, gorgeous, sensitive, emotional Cancers. I've dated 3 of you and I love you all dearly. You cancers are passionate, beautiful, deeply caring lovers. Cancers are teeming with pure emotion.
What's the most deep, emotional color in the stratosphere? Red, obviously.
Red is romance, passion, heartbreak and rage. All of which you, my gorgeous Cancers, encompass. You are as real and as alive as blood. Your lips should be the color of blood, the life force.
You don't DO a shiny red, you do a MATTE red. Your soul is velvet, not satin.
Also a matte red doesn't wipe off when you go and sip some wine. It stays even through steamy make-out sessions. You're not afraid of commitment, so neither should your lips be.
Zara's picks: MAC Retro Matte Lipstick in Ruby Woo, $15, Nordstrom; Makeup Forever Rouge Artist Intense in Matte Bright Red, $22, Sephora
Leo (July 23 - August 22): Coral
Leos are the most sublimely charismatic girl creatures in the zodiac. You're that fun, sexy, girl with the irresistible, authentic smile.
You're sexy. You're playful. You're gorgeous. You're one, big, giant TEASE. You're not darkly sexy like a Taurus or a Scorpio. You're the girl that leaves everyone wanting more. You're the girl we want to go on wild adventures with. You're the girl we can laugh with.
Which is why you're coral. Coral, the color of summer. Coral, the flirtatious slightly-orange-slightly-pink, hard-to-define color. Coral just looks fun and beachy. Which is cohesive to the very soul of the leo.
Zara's picks: Tarte Amazonian Butter Lipstick in Coral Blossom and Too Faced Melted Metal in Debutante
Virgo (August 23 - September 22): Orchid
You, my Virgo dear, are one of the most giving signs in the entire Zodiac. While you're a grounded earth sign, you're also imaginative and extremely artistic. You Virgos run deep. You're an emotional well. You are the great artists of the world. You feel the pain, the beauty, and the weight of the world.
Which is precisely why you need a RICH orchid color. Your stone is a Sapphire, so naturally a blueish orchid is the best option. The pink undertones in the orchid color represent your soft side, while the purple represents your undeniable mad creativity.
So, my gorgeous Virgos, get some orchid lipstick, make some awesome art and have some wild sex.
Libra (September 23 - October 22): Soft Nude
My mother is a Libra and she's the makeup queen of the world. I've never seen her in a dramatic color; instead, she always wears these super chic nude tones. And she looks amazing.
Let me explain: Libras are balanced creatures. You have a sick intuition and sky-high ambitions. You're not one to self-gloat or self-promote (which is a breath of fresh air in this "self-promoting" culture. GAG). This is why you go for the nude lip. You let your eyes do the talking. Your lipstick is there to balance out your makeup, but you everything else shine. You will not be defined by your lipstick. Your natural beauty should never be distracted by an over-the-top lip.
Every Libra I know looks good in a nude matte. Don't go shiny; it waters down your sophisticated, fashion-forward, aesthetic.
Scorpios (October 23 - November 21): High-Shine, High-Intensity POWER RED
Oh, Scorpios! You guys are sex maniacs! Of course you need the most overtly sexual color in the great expanse of the Zodiac. Of course!
You need a power red. Not a matte red; that's too old-school romance. You need a shiny, sexy, full-bodied RED. With blue undertones, because that slight hint of little pink is what makes it naughty. And you Scorpios are naughty (I've dated/hooked up with plenty of your kind; don't question me on this).
And you know I love most about Scorpios? Your unabashed, unapologetic CONFIDENCE. It takes a confident girl creature to rock the shiny red. You don't give a sh*t if it smudges a little. It looks fierce and hot, so who cares if you have to reapply? Not you, my sexy Scorpio. Not you.
Sagittarius (November 22 - December 21): Burnt Berry
Sagittarius are beautiful philosophers. You spend time thinking about the world at large, breaking down what it all means.
You're also incredibly positive. You're just beaming with this palpable, good energy. We want to be around you. Which is precisely why you need a warm, burnt berry lipstick.
Burnt berries are comforting but smart. Sexy but pretty. Positive but deep. Just like you!
Capricorn (December 22 - January 19): BLACK
Capricorns are my favorite sign in the stratosphere. In fact, all of my best friends are Capricorns.
As I've said before: You're just wonderfully reliable, hyper-ambitious, fabulously organized and good-looking creatures with a powerful sense of resilience that I deeply admire.
You're a class act, which is why you need to rock the black lip. Girl, I know it's bold. But it's also the color of organization, ambition and -- most importantly -- resilience. Plus, who can resist a girl fearless enough to rock a black lip? No one.
Pair it with NO eye makeup and a side ponytail. Trust me. I've seen it blow the minds of people passing through the city streets.
Aquarius (January 20 - February 18): Ice Blue
Oh, my sweet, sultry air baby. We are in the AGE OF THE AQUARIUS, so we are really relying on your prowess to set the trend for the new age.
This is why I'm putting you in an icy-blue lipstick. Don't fret; you're a trendsetter and blue lipstick is all the rage. It's actually extremely soft and flattering. It's not a dark blue; it's a snow-princess blue. Perfect for the cold, cutting months of winter.
You go and rock those blue lips -- and the next thing you know, that bitchy girl who sits adjacent to you in the office will be do the same. I know you said you liked CATS, not COPYCATS, but thus is the life of the trendsetter.
Pisces (February 19 - March 20): Mauve With HELLA Lip-Liner
You Pisces are super sexy with a ton of natural -- dare I say -- SWAGGER. You're sexy in a effortless way. You're not trying to hard. You're the great eye-f*ckers of the Zodiac.
Which is why your lips must be sexy, but not too obvious. Think of the Angelina lip. Or the Kylie Jenner lip. Full and matte and heavily lined, but not BRIGHT RED. That's not how you roll. You don't want us to know you try so hard (even though you do, sweet Pisces).
You're all about the mauve. Not nude. Not brown. But mauve. Something about a mauve lip with a darker liner is so seductive. It makes me think of soft, pillowy lips I'm going to get lost in forever...