Why Being An Assh*le Actually Makes You A Great And Loyal Friend

by Dan Scotti

In 2011, the Dallas Mavericks beat the Miami Heat in the NBA Finals.

At the time, the Heat were considered to be the superior team -- less than one year after the assemblage of the “Big Three” in Miami.

But, despite the glamorous roster the Heat flaunted, Dallas played better team-oriented basketball -- and LeBron choked massively -- which ultimately resulted in the Mavericks taking the spoils.

Keep in mind Dallas didn’t have many superstars on their side. Sure, Dirk Nowitzki was the indisputable leader of their attack -- and deserving of the MVP award -- but every man on the Dallas roster played their own role.

One player in particular, who maybe doesn’t get the credit he deserved, was a man by the name of Brian Cardinal, better known as “The Custodian.”

Cardinal was far from the most athletic player on the court, and hardly the most glamorous, but he understood -- and knew how to execute -- his role to perfection.

Whenever The Custodian would grace the court during that Finals run, he gave his all.

Every loose ball, he’d throw his body around for it. Every hustle play, he’d outhustle his opposition. I mean, the dude set some of the most impressive screens I’ve seen, thus far, in an NBA contest.

And while he probably never sold too many jerseys, his prominence on that team and that Championship chase were undeniable.

Whether you realize it or not, groups of friends operate in many of the same ways that successful basketball teams do. Everyone has a role, so to speak.

Most groups of friends will have a few “Funny Guys.” You know, dudes who will provide the jokes when you’re all kicking it.

Then most groups of friends will have the one “Decision Maker,” the guy who’s typically the most responsible and depended upon to make the final plans.

Some groups of friends will have “The Nerdy One,” others will have “The Unfunny One,” yet almost every group of friends will invariably reserve a spot for one imperative role: “The Assh*le.” And for good reason, too.

See, The Assh*le is, in many ways, the Brian Cardinal within each respective group of friends -- and I mean that in the best way, Brian.

Granted, being an assh*le isn’t always glamorous -- and it probably won’t win over too many fans, either -- but it’s impossible to ignore this role’s importance to the overall team.

Although they might be a little rough around the edges, here’s why being an assh*le can actually make you an invaluable friend.

They’re brutally honest.

Sometimes you don’t want your friends to say what’s nice; you want them to say what’s real.

Sure, your assh*le friend may not be the most eloquent with how he chooses to word his opinions -- at least when he says something, you know he’s being honest.

The fact of the matter is you’re going to want a few people around you who don’t look to bite their tongue in fear of offending certain people.

Friends who constantly feed you white lies will only be doing you a disservice, later down the road, when you’re looking for the truth.

They don’t care what other people think.

You can always depend on your assh*le friend to not give one flying f*ck about what other people are doing or thinking.

In life, it’s important to surround yourself with leaders, not followers.

Although the assh*le may appear to be inconsiderate, a lot of times, he’s just marching to the tune of his own horn, so to speak. And you’ll want to have at least a few of these types of people in your groups of friends.

Sure, people-pleasers may avoid certain disagreements, but they also don’t bring much to the table. At least your assh*le friends won’t try to be anything, and all their intentions are genuine.

They don’t gossip.

Hey, one of the best parts about your assh*le friend is he won’t look to chat sh*t behind your back -- if there’s any type of problem he might have with you, odds are, he won’t have any problem saying it to your face.

If you’re slipping up in life -- maybe falling back into old habits with the same chick or overdoing the booze -- you can rely on that same assh*le friend to bring these types of things to your attention before they turn into gossip amongst other people.

At the end of the day, if it’s something you can fix, better you than them.