9 Things Insecure People Do That Ruin Their Lives

by Paul Hudson

Insecurity is the dumbest thing that we all feel. Every person in the world has something he or she is insecure about – even if only slightly. Well, some of the less mentally stable may have issues with shame, guilt and empathy, but the average individual does feel insecure about something or other. It may not be a high level of insecurity, but insecurity nonetheless.

While a bit of insecurity is okay to deal with, a lot of it in certain areas can ruin your life. Even those of us who experience little insecurity could still be better off without it, being more likely to experience more in their lives. There really is only one way of ridding yourself of insecurity – you have to put yourself out there and live through whatever you’re afraid of.

It’s facing your fears because logically you understand that they are irrational. Insecurity is irrational. Irrationality has no place in our lives. All it does is frustrate us when we don’t get the results we’re hoping for. Those that live an insecure life don’t live a happy life.

1. Insecure individuals don’t have the confidence to try their hand at enough things.

That’s why they have so much trouble figuring out what they really want to do in life. The only way you can figure out how you should best live your life is by testing things out. You try things until you figure out what does and what doesn’t work for you, calculating the probability that the following test will result in positive experiences.

You try, you learn, you draw conclusions and you try again – that’s the only way to live. Those that are insecure hold themselves back from trying new things. The more you’re insecure, the less likely you are to find the ideal life. Personally, I think that’s a stupid tradeoff.

2. They live in a world of fear of judgment.

The more insecure you are, the more that insecurity weighs on your mind. You think more about it and think less about anything else. You live in fear, hoping that no one notices how flawed you are, even if only in one regard.

You’re scared of interacting with people because you don’t want them to see through you. People judge… that’s the way that we’re built. The real question is: Why does it matter to you so much? Most people won’t be as upset with your flaw as you imagine to begin with. And those that are, never really matter.

3. They usually avoid meeting new people.

People are very important parts of our lives. Many will go as far as to argue that the people in our lives are really the only thing of any importance whatsoever. The interaction shapes our lives and sadly not always for the better. Insecure people do have friends of some sort, but they usually aren’t great friends.

The insecure have a tendency for settling for things – people included. They’re just happy to get a handout when one is given to them. Such a miserable way to live life.

4. They never give it their all because they don’t believe their all is good enough.

They half-ass everything and end up living a half-assed life. Things only matter when we decide they matter. How much they matter depends on how much importance and meaning we give them. Your life is exactly that – the more you put in, the more it means. The less you put in, the less you try and the more you avoid responsibility for your life and your actions, the less meaning your life has.

5. The insecure can never entirely be themselves – they always hold themselves back.

Being insecure doesn’t excuse you from functioning within society. For this reason, they function under a false pretense, pretending to be people they aren’t. They hide their flaws and therefore hide themselves. If you’re insecure about something then either change it or remove it from your thoughts. What you can’t change isn’t worth worrying about. Don’t live your life in a shell. All the fun starts when you jump out of it.

6. Because they never attempt to be themselves, they never really find themselves or get to know themselves the way they should.

Most people don’t know themselves well because they don’t take the time to get to know themselves. The only way to get to know yourself is to live and see what happens – see how you react in certain situations, see what you enjoy and what you dislike, experience the world and find your place in it. If you aren’t honest with the world about who you are then you’ll never find a place in it.

7. Essentially, insecure people live in a world filled with denial.

The fact is that you’re awesome. You’re not perfect, but no one is. The only thing you should be insecure about is being irrational and illogical – everything else is subjective and out of your control. By being insecure, you are telling yourself that you’re not good enough the way you are. That’s a lie. You’re accepting a lie as the truth. That’s the textbook definition of denial.

8. They miss out on the best things that life has to offer.

Insecurity forces you to live less – literally. You do less and worry more, accumulating negative thoughts and missing out on new experiences and memorable moments. Life has so much to offer if you go out there and take what is given to you. You have opportunities to explore and grow as an individual daily. Choosing not to take advantage of it all is a waste of a life. Life is hard enough as it is; take whatever freebies are thrown your way.

9. Their relationships are doomed to fail.

Relationships require two people being honest with each other. The only way to do that is to first be honest with yourself. Insecurities come out during a relationship and create unnecessary tension – tension that has no place in a loving relationship.

Relationships can often do much good and get insecure individuals to accept and work on their insecurities. However, when they fail to do so, they fail to grow as people and their partners lose interest over time. Being insecure is depressing. Depression has a way of spreading and spoiling things.

Photo credit: Theo Gosselin

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