When it comes to love, I believe that the general population has it backwards. Most people try to find love for the wrong reason: in order to be happy. This is why most relationships fail and why true love seems nothing more than a bad joke to most people. Needing people to be happy is relying on them in a way that they should never be relied upon.
You cannot rely on others for your happiness because you will undoubtedly find reasons not to love them. The truth is that no person will ever make you happy if you aren’t already happy. People can make you happier, but if you aren’t already happy with yourself and your life, then sooner or later, your unhappiness will resurface and guess who you will blame for it? If your lover is the source of your happiness then it only stands to reason that they would be the source of any unhappiness as well.
If you want to find the love of your life then be sure to be happy before you get together rather than hoping that they are the remedy to your misery. Misery is poisonous and will destroy you, your relationship and the person you love. True love requires happiness; not the other way around.
Smiling Makes You More Approachable.
You see two beautiful people of your preferred sex sitting at the bar. One of them seems to be brooding —must have had a hard day — while the other looks to be relaxed and happy. Which one do you approach? Assuming that you’re not just out hunting for injured prey — the easy kill — then you will pick the person that is smiling every time. When you see a person that is smiling, laughing and having a good time then you are more likely to approach them versus any other equally attractive person at the venue.
When you get down to it, no one like rejection. Sure, some of us may no longer be fazed by it, but no one enjoys not getting what he or she wants. Happy people are more inclined towards trying new, uncertain things than unhappy people; they are less worried about becoming unhappier because of the choices they make — a sort of invincibility complex.
Therefore, it only makes sense that we would approach the person that we feel would be more willing to start a dialog with us versus the person that looks like they just want to be left alone. Happier people are usually nicer as well, so if you’re going to be put down then it may as well be gently.
The Happier You Are, The More Confident You Are.
As mentioned before, the happier we are, the more invincible we feel. Because true happiness is believed to occur on rare occasion, when we do find ourselves basking in its glow, we like to imagine ourselves staying there for eternity. Why not be happy every day of our lives? The longer we feel happy, the less threatened we feel by the possibility that we may lose it.
We feel confident in ourselves and our abilities. Happiness is not a sporadically occurring phenomenon; it is the result of our responses to outside stimuli that we believe to be positive — the more regularly we experience happiness as a response, the more confident we become in our ability to succeed and be happy. This confidence is the most natural confidence that a human being can possess and one that is noticed by others. Once you are happy and confident that you can continue to make yourself happy, your comfort zone begins to expand — people will love that about you.
A Happier Person Is Sexier.
I will say that there is a heartbreaking beauty in a woman shedding tears, but ideally a happy person is a sexy person. Have you ever asked yourself how it is that you can tell if a person is happy or unhappy? We can all do it, no? You can take one look at a person and tell right away if in that very moment they are happy or whether they are completely miserable (of course, everything in between is harder to pinpoint).
You somehow ‘know’ whether or not someone is happy — especially if you have spoken to him or her before. It’s not the smile that gives it away; even an unhappy man can crack one of those. It’s a change that happens in the entire body. We say that people ‘light up’ when they are happy. Their posture and motions change. Their eyes appear wider and more alert.
They have more color in their cheeks because their blood is coursing through their veins at a more rapid pace. They give off a certain energy — an energy that can’t be faked. This energy is a result of real happiness and gives a person the look of being more alive and more in the moment. There’s nothing sexier than a person completely present in the moment.
There Is A Strong Correlation Between Happiness And Strength.
Happiness isn’t easy to come by. Well, it is and it isn’t. Happiness is the way we perceive the outcome minus the result that we expected — it’s the positive difference between our expectations and reality. We could certainly aim low, expect very little, and be happy as a bee — but that simply isn’t an option for most Generation-Yers. Our egos are just too big for that.
We aim high and we fight for it. Because most of us like picking fights with guys twice our size, our road to success is a rocky one. Everybody likes a David versus Goliath story — the victory of the underdog; we want to be that underdog that does the unimaginable. This story ending isn’t impossible, but it is incredibly difficult.
The strongest of the strong are those that succeed and those that come out happy. True, not every strong man or woman is happy, but every happy person out there is strong. Strength isn’t just an offense, but also a defense. It’s no surprise that the winners are often those that are able to take the most hits without throwing in the towel. Strength is power and power is sexy.
If You’re Happy Then You’re Wise.
In the end we are all just looking for a good time; we all just want to be happy. Happiness is the simplest of things, but incredibly elusive to so many. It isn’t easy to attain because it doesn’t rely on solely quantity or quality alone, but on a combination of both. There are endless options available to most of you reading this. We can do countless things, purchase countless things and experience countless things.
There is no reason any of us should be unhappy — unless, of course, there are outside forces suppressing us. We all innately understand that happiness requires a certain level of self-understanding and overall wisdom. We must understand what it is that would actually make us happy — may slightly differ for each individual — and also understand what is important.
Most things that come across in life are completely trivial; things that do not matter. When we have the wisdom of what is important in life and what isn’t, that is when we can put our focus and appreciation where it counts. Happiness greatly relies on appreciating the right things. A person who has such affairs in order is infinitely more appealing than a person who is lost and confused.
We All Want A Fairytale Ending.
We all want that fairytale ending where we, and everyone we love, are happy. This does not necessitate finding a single person to share your life with — that may not make you happy. It does, however, necessitate happiness itself. We want nothing more than to be happy. When we see someone who we believe to have already found happiness, we are automatically attracted to him or her.
Some refer to these people as Alpha males or females. I call them those who have their priorities straight and know where their happiness lies. When we see someone happy and together, we believe them to have some secret to finding happiness. Simply put, we are intrigued. What could talking to them hurt? Maybe you’d learn something.
Or maybe you just want to prove to yourself that their happiness is a ruse, making yourself feel better about how unhappy you are. Whatever the case may be, you will be more inclined to speak to and interact with the happier individual. Maybe you are secretly wishing that this smiling, attractive person will take you away from your hell and to Graceland. Maybe they will be your happy ending.