While Reddit is mainly known for people posting random stories, clips, images, memes and what-nots of relative humor and significance, it occasionally is used for obscure and hilarious online forums.
Last month, Reddit user/genius igivefreetickles came up with a post "Man Whores and Lady Sluts of Reddit, What is the sleaziest/sluttiest thing you've ever done?" Naturally the answers were epic. From cheaters, to two-timers, to having sex in inappropriate places, the man whores and lady sluts of Reddit had a field day with this one, sharing many of their regrettable and legendary stories.
The Cheap F*uck
"Had sex with a girl that was in to me to get a place to sleep because i didnt bother paying a cab home and she lived close to the nightclub." -Reddit user ITcreep
Classy Spring Breaker
"Spring Break 2009: Fucked a random girl I just met in a Porta-Potty." - Reddit User way_fairer
Busting A Dunkin DoNUT
"Met a girl in a Dunkin donuts parking lot at 10:00am. She invited me over to her house. We get there and after thirty minutes she asks if I want to have sex. Of course I say yes. No kissing or touching. She simply bends over and hands me a condom out of the biggest box of condoms I've ever seen. This should have been my cue to leave but at that point I was in too deep. I start from behind and two minutes in I misjudge a pump and end up cumming. So embarrassing. As I lay there in shame she starts at herself with a vibrator and turns to me and says "have you ever choked someone?" She takes my hand and puts it to her throat. So I choke her until she cums. I shuffle out after we exchange numbers and can only shake my head in disgust when I get in my car. This happened last Thursday." - Reddit user White_smoke
Cloudy With A Chance Of Blow Jobs?
"Got head seeing cloudy with a chance of meatballs. 15 minutes into what was an empty theater a small family came in and totally knew what was up. We left shortly thereafter in the most awkward rush.. But it was hot." - Reddit user MajesticStag
The Vampire
"Not even a man whore, but I drunkenly ate pussy while the girl was on her period. She didn't try to stop me or anything and I literally didn't notice until I got home and looked at my face in the mirror. Oh my god. I'm lucky my parents weren't awake when I got home." - Reddit user IronMaidenPwnz
The Double Trouble
"One time I had a date with a guy named Jon. After the date he came back to my place, we watched a movie, had some wine, and then we fucked 3 times. About an hour after he left though, I was already horny again and this other guy I was talking to at the time (named John) texted me asking me what I was up to... I ended up having sex with both John and Jon in the same night. Definitely my sluttiest moment. (I did use condoms though!)" - Reddit user Nameyschmamey
The Awful Best Friend
"My best friend and I visited his sister in college when we were seniors and she was a freshman, we went out to the bars with her and her friends (they all had fake ids). His sister was totally all over me all night. I continuously pushed her away (which made it worse) and explained to her that even though I thought she was really hot I would not do anything out of respect for her brother. Her brother gets tanked and I got really drunk as well and I briefly made out with her at one bars without her brother seeing. Later in the night I crossed the point where my drunkness outweighed my friendship and I let her blow me in the backseat of a cab while her brother was in the front seat. (Still had no idea). Her and her roommate snuck us into their dorms were my drunk best friend and the roommate immediately passed out. I then proceeded to fuck her not 4 feet away from her brother. He still does not know. I am a terrible, terrible friend." - Reddit User anotherthrowaway3412
The Siskel and Ebert
"The first one happened to me about seven months ago to a lovely young lady I met through a mutual friend. Well, we didn't have much in common but she loved to suck dick and I.. Well, I can appreciate a passion such as thus, if you know what I'm saying. Anyway, we would meet up, fuck and go our separate ways. Pretty clean cut relationship. And ill be honest with you guys, she was so good at head that once we started fucking, I wouldn't last more than thirty seconds. It's like she stole the orgasm right outta me. So, one night, she's hammered at a party and calls me. Conveniently enough, I was headed to the same party, hammered as fuck, so she wants to fuck. Great success. I get there, tell my buddy my plan, and grab her. We go into a bathroom and she rips my pants off. She starts sucking away and I'm all about it. After a few minutes, I bend her over the counter and give her a one way ticket to Poundtown. We are going and she's screaming so loud that I could hear the music in the party be turned down to hear what was going on. She's dirty talking me big time, "Harder, faster" all that. I'm wasted and know I'm not getting off so I wanna mix it up for her, as any gentleman would. I prepare my thumb for entry and go as knuckle deep into her asshole with it as I could. She wiggles hard, moans, throws her arms out and knocks the god damn door open. So I have several people looking at me balls deep and thumbs deep in this lovely young lady so I decide, in that moment, there is only one thing to do. I pull my thumb out of her ass and give the crowd a thumbs up as I close the door and keep it going. They cheered. It was fantastic, and I know, no matter what I do, I will never be cooler in my life than I was in that moment." - jpotts5
The Desperate Rager
"Fucked two really fat chicks so they would give me some ecstasy." - Reddit User JasonGD1982
The Not-So-Kosher Makeout
"I made out with a girl at the theater during Schindler's List." - Reddit User Seventh7Sun
While these are all quite hilarious, let's be honest: no one who comments on Reddit actually gets any action....
