Round Of Applause: The Ridiculous Things White People Love To Clap For
White people love approval, but more than anything, they love to show their approval. One of the best ways for them to show their support for things is by clapping. If you get a white person to clap, then you have successfully done your job.
Now that we understand why white people clap, it is important to note that they do not just clap for just anything. They live to be entertained and nothing shows their appreciation for your entertainment quite like a good clap.
Here are the things white people clap for:
At the end of a movie in a theater
To white people, every movie they go see in theaters gets treated as if it's the greatest movie they have ever seen. This only happens in theaters because we all know white people don't clap after every movie they see on Netflix.
When an injured player gets up or is taken off the field
Nothing shows you are paying attention to what's going on quite like clapping for a player after he or she gets injured. Thanks, but no thanks white people.
Meetings have to be the most boring things out there. After gnawing off your ear and talking the whole time, white people tend to find it appropriate to clap once the meeting has adjourned.
After singing 'Happy Birthday'
White people love birthdays; so after every song, it's almost expected that you will hear a clap.
When a baby horse is born
You know white people love their horses, be it in their Hamptons home or their ranch in Texas, all white people dream about raising the next Sea Biscuit.
When a golfer hits a birdie
Golf is one of the most nerve-racking sports out there, although it may not require much physical strength, it is very challenging. White people love going wild when their favorite golfer hits a nice shot.
At the end of every black joke
White folk are like chameleons, they want to fit into any scene, so for them just laughing at the end of a black joke isn't enough. They must go that extra step to show they get the joke and are down with the lingo. You go white people!
When the person they loathe gets voted off a reality show
White people love reality shows and they get so into it. Many of them develop favorite cast members and once they find the ones to hate, nothing pleases them more than seeing them get voted off.
For Dane Cook jokes
Dane Cook can do no wrong in the eyes of white people.
When their favorite artist wins an award on an Award show
White people go wild for award shows and once their favorite artist wins they feel that a standing ovation from their coach is appropriate as if they can be heard through the TV.
When young people talk about serious issues
No one knows what's going on in the world more than white people, apparently, and when someone who's young talks about a serious issue, they find it cute. No matter what you say, your point will be followed by applause.
When their dinner arrives to the table after a long wait
Sometimes white people love to show their humorous side. They can be sarcastic when they want and nothing brings it out more than receiving their food after a long wait at the restaurant.
During 'The Cha Cha Slide'
White people cannot contain themselves once they hear, "Everybody clap yo' hands!"
After an argument when someone makes a valid point
Nothing gets white people riled up like a great debate. You should see them go bananas once someone makes a great argument for their side. It seems like nothing makes them more happy than this.
When OJ was arrested
We all knew OJ did it, there was no doubt in our minds.
After an airplane landing
White people love clapping when people do what they are supposed to do. Not really sure if the pilot cares if you clap or not because with or without your approval he still has to properly land that plane or everyone is dead.
When two people come out of the room after sex
Oh, you know white folk can't contain themselves when that door opens and two people who were having sex walk out. It's the "Yeah, I know what you guys were doing clap." It's usually followed by a bunch of high fives and an awkward silence.
Not during arguments
Some people love to punctuate every syllable and point with a clap while they are arguing, but, no, not white people.
When a waiter breaks a glass
Opa! Mazel tov!
To turn on their lights
Clap on, clap off!