The Anti-Masturbation Cross Is A Foolproof Way To Keep Your Child Free Of Sin (Photo)
Depending on who you talk to, masturbation is either a normal, healthy part of life or a disgusting disease that can result in hairy palms, blindness and eternal damnation.
I don't want to generalize, but most of the people in the latter camp also tend to have a background in religion.
People have developed techniques to help fight this natural urge that they claim is anything but, with Mormon underwear, chastity belts and self-restraints serving as the primary forms of masturbation prevention.
Those are nothing compared to The Anti-Masturbation Cross. Want to keep your children from interacting with their "dangerous sin zones"?
All you have to do is strap them to the cross and (presumably) leave them there forever. It's that simple!
I can't believe no one has thought of this before. People interested in ordering should seriously reevaluate their lives because it doesn't actually exist.