The 20 Sure Signs You're An Awful Hipster

by Lauren Martin

Why did the hipster burn his hand? Because he touched the pan before it was cool. Ah, the classic hipster joke. They are just too easy to target these days, with the earth shattering amount of trendy young hippies complaining throughout every urban area. They live together in brick confines, where they spit on society and eat organic free-range eggs. Wait, no, they're vegans.

They hate to see babies smile and especially detest commercial real estate. They are the newest anti-trend and we just love to hate them. But their breed is growing rapidly as you pass more and more girls on the street with combat boots and ripped stockings.

It's like a plague, taking over impressionable millenials one by one. Suddenly, you find yourself attracted to leather sleeves and red lipstick. You dream in flannel and even get a bit jittery as you pass a Salvation Army. All this sound familiar? You may very well have fallen victim to the epidemic and not even know it. So here are the 15 signs that you may be a hipster.

Your Non-Prescription Glasses Are Always Breaking

You Have To Constantly Buy New Clothes Because Urban Outfitters Keeps Taking Your Look

You Moved To Bushwick For The Scenery

 You Know At Least Thirteen Bean Flavors From An Underground Coffee Shop

 Your Flannel Collection Is Almost As Large As Your Vintage Record Collection

 You Are Exhausted From Just Trying To Be An Individual

You Have To Wear Your Jeans As Capris To Show Off Your Moccasins

Your Significant Other Has The Same Hair Style As You

You Spend Forty Five Minutes Getting Ready To Look Homeless

You Don't Like To Be Happy Because It's Too Mainstream

You Don't Have Any Friends Because No One Is Cool Enough You Roll Your Cigarettes So If You're Ever In The Wild, You'll Know How To Roll Tobacco You Don't Own Any Brand Names, Only $400 Leather Boots Infused With Bull Semen From Peru You Style Your Hair So It Will Go With Your Floppy Hat You Can't Go To Whole Foods Because Your Mom Shops There Now You Have A Cat Because Dogs Are Too Trendy You Only Go To Art Openings Because Dancing Is So 2009 You Hate Everyone Because They Will Never Understand You You Have A Beard, And If You're A Girl You Wish You Did You Get Offended When Someone Calls You A Hipster