Guille Faingold

50 Thoughts You Have When You Realize You're Wrong During An Argument

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My coworker was on her period and spending the night at her boyfriend's. When she went to the bathroom to change her tampon and realized there was no trash can for her old tampon, she LOST HER SH*T at her boyfriend.

Halfway through ripping him to shreds, she realized she was being crazy. She was wrong. She was being ridiculous. But there was no stopping the train. It had taken off, and she was going to make for damn certain that she brought it to its destination.

We’ve all been here. We’ve all started an argument and somewhere along the lines realized we were so completely wrong, but at that point, we were already too deeply entrenched in our state of stubbornness and irrational rage to back down.

I once got into a heated debate with my best friend from home about the calendar store that used to exist in the shopping center in our old hometown. She was convinced it had closed down, and I was convinced it had not. I was getting more upset than necessary. I knew I was right. That is, until we drove past the shopping center mid-argument and I noticed out of the corner of my eye that she was right. It was gone.

But I couldn't rewind the moment. I had to keep going and hopefully find a graceful way out.

Whenever this happens to me, a series of thoughts go through my head about how stupid I'm being. So here they are, all of the thoughts that go through our heads when we know we’re in the wrong but are still MAD. And just casually replace "calendar store" with your own dumb argument:

1. How can she be such a f*cking IDIOT?

2. Of course the calendar store is still there.

3. I’m right.

4. I know I’m right.

5. How is she still fighting me on this?

6. Ugh, she’s being such a stupid, insufferable idiot.

7. Oh, f*ck … I’m wrong.

8. I SWEAR the calendar store did used to be there though.

9. Do I back down?

10. So soon?!?

11. She did NOT just bring up the time I was wrong about Marty Levinson’s address in fifth grade.

12. OK, it’s on. There will be no backing down.

13. Everything she says is just so INFURIATING.

14. This doesn’t even have to do with the calendar store anymore.

15. No, this is something bigger.

16. Bigger than the both of us.

17. It’s how seriously she takes everything!

18. THAT’s what I’m mad about.

19. THAT’s what I’m fighting about here.

20. Except that I’m not.

21. We’re still talking about the calendar store.

22. How do I play this off?

23. What were my original arguments?!

24. OK, stay calm, Candice. Act natural.

25. Ugh, I can feel my face turning red.

26.  Is it hot in here? Why am I so hot?

27. I’m honestly going to need to change my outfit.

28. Why am I so sweaty?

29. How do I tell my body to STOP sweating?

30. No, it’s fine. I am calm. I am cool. Deep breaths.

31. I just gotta focus on my old main points.

32. We were JUST at the calendar store last week.

33. Their website is still up!

34. Yeah, even when she finds out I’m wrong and she’s right, at least I’ll go out with some dignity.

35. OK, maybe not “dignity,” but she will see where I was coming from.

36. Oh, f*ck.

37. She wants to go to the mall and prove me wrong once and for all.

38. How do I save face in this situation?!

39. ABORT MISSION.

40. Seriously. How do I convince her not to go there?

41. F*ck! F*ck! F*ck!

42. Tell her she’s being crazy! Like why does she care THAT much? It’s not THAT big of a deal. We can just forget about it.

43. Nope. Not working.

44. She is dead set on proving me wrong.

45. But that is just SO typical her.

46. So obsessed with proving people wrong. She always needs to be right.

47. Like who cares whether or not you’re wrong or right?! Right? Like it doesn’t matter. She needs to chill out.

48. OK, fine. Maybe I need to chill out, too.

49. F*ck we’re here. No getting out of this. I must back down.

50. I’m an idiot.