This one goes out to every kid who's ever called his or her teacher “Mom.” Blogger and The New York Times bestselling author Jenny Lawson recently had a rough trip to the airport.
When followers read her tweet, they slowly began sharing their own embarrassing stories.
It's difficult to read most of these scenarios without imagining each user shouting because shouting distracts bystanders when one has, say, farted loudly in a packed elevator.
"BONER, FRANK! I MEAN BONER! CRAP! BONER!"
"IF YOU'RE SO SMART, WHERE ARE THE LEG HOLES?"
“HOW DO I STAIRS?”
“PUT 'ER THERE, JOE.”
“NICE TO MEET ME.”
“WHY ARE YOU TEASING US?”
“YOU'RE MY BEST FRIEND, CARROTS.”
“WHAT ARE YOUR HOBBIES, SISTER?”
“UGH, MOM, I CAN'T TAKE YOU ANYWHERE!”
“THE HEART WANTS WHAT THE HEART WANTS.”
“CAROL WOULD RECOGNIZE THESE ANYWHERE.”
“FINE. I'LL HAVE THE FUDGENIS INSTEAD.”
“HIS CERVIX WILL NEVER BE THE SAME.”
“KISS ME, ANDREW.”
“TAKE ME TO DILDO'S!”
“COME 'ERE. I LOVE YOU.”
Lawson loved the tweets and likely realized her airport faux pas was nothing compared to some of her followers' mishaps.
You heard her, folks. Awkward like no one's watching.