13 People Predict The Hilarious Ways Their St. Patrick's Day Will End

by Eitan Levine
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EVERYBODY IS IRISH ON ST. *pukes for a full five minutes* PATTY'S *pukes for a full eight minutes* D -- *pukes for three minutes* -- AY!!!!

Ah yes, St. Patrick's Day. The day we commemorate St. Patrick chasing all the snakes out of Ireland (right? It's something like that, right?) by getting absolutely obliterated, appropriating Irish culture and getting into loud fights with our girlfriends outside of McDonald's in front of school children.

What a day to be alive and absolutely unaware of your surroundings.

In honor of the day, the people of Twitter decided to be aggressively candid about their plans this March 17. Actually, more accurately, they decided to be brutally honest about how they'll spend that night and the day after coping with their decisions.

1. The right outfit is KEY to making terrible St. Patty's decisions.

2. It's all about repetition.

3. Nothing like getting absolutely sh*t-faced INNNNN SPACEEEEEEEE!

4. End the day celebrating St. Patrick by flat-out lying.

5. It's not about the destination, it's about the journey.

6. Shhhhhhh, officer. He's sleeping.

7. Same outcomes, different geographical origin story.

8. Nothing like waking up to a "YOU'SE A CHAMPION! YOU'SE A GOLDEN PONY!!" text from yourself.

9. Even the transit authority is letting you down.

10. Get your "NOBODY TALK TO ME" body language down.

11. *gags* Great. Great to hear.

12. The ol' luck of the Irish is strong with this one.

13. Literally, the most shame possible.

Good luck.