8 Reasons 'OMG, Hi' Is The Most Definitive Millennial Catchphrase
As women who were not gifted with the talent of excellent memory, events that are expected to be filled with familiar names and faces from all facets of our lives can become pretty intimidating.
Throw a wedding, huge bash, birthday party or even just big night out at us, and watch our eyes fill with a small ounce of fear.
What should be a fun event filled with drinks and reminiscences with friends turns into an event filled with awkwardness and whispers of, “Umm, who is that?” followed by a “I have no f*cking idea.”
Yes, we could be viewed as terrible, careless humans who don’t remember the name of our neighbor from last year with whom we shared an Uber ride, but come on.
We are not alone with this ailment of poor memory when it comes to names and faces.
While hashing through how bad we suck at names and feeling like the worst people in the world, it dawned on us.
When we young things are out being social at the bars, we meet people while we are consuming alcohol.
And in case you live under a rock and are unaware of this, alcohol is a memory inhibitor.
We sip on our favorite cocktails while we meet friends of friends, random strangers, bartenders and so on, all the while exchanging names.
As social singletons, bar banter is just what we do.
The tricky part is, the next time you see that person from the bar, whether it's been several days, weeks or months later, the odds are, neither party will remember the other's name.
And if you ask us, this should be fine.
However, we act like not remembering someone's name is the worst thing a human could do to another.
So, we all dance around the fact everyone forgets names. But let's halt this dance right here because it has become tired.
Step aside “Bye Felicia.” A new term is out on the scene, and we must discuss it.
It is, “OMG hiiiiii." It's pronunced, "OH-miGod-Hiiiyaa," and it's usually spoken in a higher tone than the speaker's normal voice, with tons of enthusiasm.
“OMG hiiiiii” is the universal sign of, "I sound super excited, but really, I have no f*cking idea who you are."
We know what you’re thinking, and yes, this is definitely sweeping over the basic bitches of the world more so than any other Millennial demographic. But, it's everywhere.
Don’t believe us? Go to your nearest bar and sit long enough for it to become crowded, and you will hear the “OMG hiiiiii” all around you.
It’s the next thing, and you’re welcome for clueing you in.
So why, “OMG hiiiiii?" Why do we, the name-forgetters of the world, see those kid of familiar faces with no name attached, and choose to mask our confusion and embarrassment with some serious fake enthusiasm in octaves we didn’t even know were possible?
Well, we do it for about a million reasons, but here are some:
1. It's awkward.
We do it because it is f*cking awkward to have the whole "I forget your name" conversation.
Some people get very offended when you don’t remember their names, and some don't. But, there is no way to tell the two apart.
2. We think we'll figure it out without asking.
We do it because we convince ourselves we can figure out their names out later.
3. It doesn't matter.
We do it because we convince ourselves they can’t be that important if we don’t even remember their effing names.
4. We don't care.
We do it because we genuinely hated the person after talking to him or her for four minutes, and quite honestly, we DGAF about remembering it.
5. We've made out.
We do it because we've totally made out with this person, and totally forgetting his or her f*cking name and after a lip-lock is way too embarrassing to admit.
6. We're not sure if we know them.
We do it because we seriously have no idea if we even know them at all.
Do they just look like you might know them?
7. We've already shared life stories.
We do it because we had a super long conversation about exes with them at the bar, took shots and felt like we knew their life stories but just forgot that one tiny detail.
8. We were drunk.
We do it because we exchanged numbers and added them in our phones by their gender, followed by the name of the bar.
Then, we realize we were probably blacked out, and we should really stop drinking at some point and learn some effing names.
We fake the sh*t out of remembering someone just to avoid any form of awkward conversation. So the truth is, “OMG hiiiiii” is here to stay.
It is a perfect cover to mask our forgetfulness, and it is likely to become the greatest unspoken truth of our Millennial time.
We hope to see everyone out this weekend, and we can’t wait to greet you familiar strangers with, “OMG hiiiiii!”