9 New Emoji That Will Definitely Be Used For Something Sexual (Photos)

This week, Apple blessed its apostles with over 150 new emoji in its quest to make keyboards irrelevant by having yellow smiley faces overtake English as the world's universal language no later than 2043.

After the Internet put pressure on the mysterious cabal that determines what inanimate objects are worthy of being immortalized in pixels, we can now rest easy knowing we live in a world with taco and middle finger emoji.

However, if the eggplant, peach and every single cat emoji are any indication, the biggest implication of the new additions is the potential to use them all as some sort of sexual innuendo.

After taking a look at the most recent update, it's clear there are plenty of opportunities.

Hot Dog

Pictured: "Requiem For An Eggplant." In the past people were forced to use phallic produce to avoid saying naughty words, but when there's a wiener, the option is pretty clear.

Popped Champagne

Apparently this update went very heavy on the culinary phallic innuendo.

Joy Stick

For people who like being very, very literal.

Crabs

You know, like the STD.

Motor Boat

Aquatic innuendo is giving the first couple a run for their money!

Zipped Mouth

This is the closest The Gimp from "Pulp Fiction" will ever come to having his own emoji, and I'm assuming this will become a favorite among people with a similar fashion sense.

Whatever We're Calling This

I'm assuming this will be a favorite among people who use escort services.

Crossed Swords

Perfect for when you want to describe an awkward sexual experience without saying anything at all.

The Vulcan Salute

I'm not going to explain this one. If you have to ask, you're probably not old enough to know.