This Sunday is Mother's Day, which means it's probably too late to buy something unless you love your mom enough to pay a premium for overnight shipping.
These are the moments when we truly learn who we are as a person.
Regardless of your situation, it's still a good idea to give your mom a call on Sunday to tell her all the things you're supposed to tell moms on Mother's Day -- for example, you're shocked the gift you're going to buy the next day hasn't been delivered yet.
You could also take the route your mom would be proud of and simply tell the truth. While nobody wants to admit defeat, sometimes an apology is the best gift a person can get (besides real, actual presents).
If that's the case, most people will have no shortage of presents to pick from. You might not have committed every misdeed on this list, but you'll probably be able to borrow a few unless you never did anything bad as a teenager.
And if that's the case, you are a robot. You don't have to worry about apologizing to your mom because machines don't have parents.
1. I'm sorry about the entire process of childbirth.
2. I'm sorry it took me so long to figure out how to use a toilet.
3. I'm sorry for how many times you'd have to pick me up from preschool as soon as you got back from dropping me off at preschool.
4. I'm sorry for getting you sick every single time I stayed home from school.
5. I'm sorry about the times I was faking it and you somehow got sick anyway.
6. I'm sorry for refusing to shower when you told me to. That's kind of gross in hindsight.
7. I’m sorry for refusing to play nothing but Fall Out Boy on car rides.
8. I’m sorry for 2004. I was very moody that entire year.
9. I'm sorry I forgot to lock the door. Three times.
10. I'm sorry about the crusty socks in my laundry.
11. I’m sorry about the watered-down vodka you drank when I was in high school.
12. I'm sorry for leaving the house wearing that.
13. I’m sorry about the vomit on the living room carpet.
14. I’m also sorry for blaming it on the dog. I’d apologize to him too, but he died four years ago.
15. I'm sorry it took me so long to figure out the difference between "D" and "R." I'll repay you for the garage door once I finally get famous.
16. I'm sorry about the condoms that made the septic tank overflow.
17. I’m sorry I said you were literally the worst mom ever. There’s no way you’re worse than the girl from “Teen Mom” who did butt stuff on camera.
18. I'm sorry for throwing a party the first weekend you trusted me to stay home by myself.
19. I'm also sorry you're just finding out about it now. I'm not really sure why I mentioned it.
20. I'm sorry about that summer I wouldn't stop saying "Sorry I'm not sorry."
21. I'm sorry about the four consecutive years you went without restful sleep while I was away at college.
22. I'm sorry your hair is grey now.
23. I'm sorry for not actually going to the classes you were paying for because they took place before noon.
24. I'm sorry for moving back home after graduating because of my lack of foresight.
25. I'm sorry for dating that person as long as I did. You were right. So, so right.
26. I'm sorry for "accidentally" using the emergency credit card to pay for every Uber ride I've taken this year.
27. I'm sorry for getting too drunk next Christmas.
28. I'm sorry I had to ask you to be a guarantor on my lease for the fifth year in a row.
29. I'm sorry I still don't know how taxes work.
30. I’m sorry I still don’t pay my own cellphone bill.
31. I'm sorry for the drunk dials. And the drunk texts. And that one sext I accidentally sent to the wrong person.
32. I'm sorry for constantly making you wonder how your life would have turned out if you had never had kids.
33. I'm sorry for thinking a text is as good as a phone call.
34. I'm sorry for that month I just kind of forgot to check in.
35. I'm sorry for only calling you when I need money... but I spent more money than I thought I did last month and might need some help with rent.