Cristiano Ronaldo Is Proof Miracles Can Happen When You Grow Up An Ugly Duckling (Photos)

Cristiano Ronaldo shattered the hopes and dreams of casual American soccer fans everywhere Sunday night when his crossing ball found the foot of a fellow Portuguese player who tied the match in the final minute of added time.

With the goal, the Americans are now set up for failure in their upcoming match up against Germany.

The draw was especially frustrating considering that the Americans had held the "best player in the world" at bay for the majority of the battle.

Most of the attention is on the player's heroics, which in my opinion distracts from the real issue here: Ronaldo wasn't always the most perfect person in the world.

It turns out that money can't just buy you happiness -- it can also buy you better looks. I'm not saying that Ronaldo isn't an attractive guy, but I think he had a little bit of help getting there.

I can't even confirm that these are all actually photos of the Portuguese heartthrob; I'm not a big enough soccer fan to be able to tell the difference. However, I can tell when someone looks like an idiot. Let's not forget that Cristiano Ronaldo used to be really, really good at doing that.

Based on his dental work I would have thought he was British

Nice hair. Not.

Is that Cristiano's face or the cratered surface of Mars?

He looks like a poor person on "Game of Thrones"

Here he is cosplaying as Detective McNulty from "The Wire"

Looking good, feeling good

I'm sure this is just the camera's fault

That hair is definitely hair

Melanoma has never looked better

People don't forget

He cleans up nice