8 Reasons I'd Rather Spend My Night With A Pizza Than A Hookup
Once upon a time, I was presented with a very tough decision to make.
I had just ordered my own thin-crust pepperoni pizza with banana peppers, and I was extremely hungry. But at that same moment, I received a text. A particular strapping young gentleman asked if I'd like to come over and “hang out.”
It was 10 pm on a Tuesday.
“I just ordered pizza. It won’t be here for another 45 min,” I texted back.
“Come over after. Or I could come there,” he chivalrously replied.
I debated and carefully weighed out my options. Seconds passed by.
Well, of course, I chose the pizza.
Wouldn’t you? In case you're on the fence, I've listed some of my reasons below:
1. Pizza is always down, wherever and whenever you want.
Pizza is totally cool with getting that drunk text at 1 am, pleading for it to come on over to your place. It’s good to go at any time of the day.
Whether it’s your hot Friday night dinner or lazy leftovers for breakfast, pizza is will be there.
2. Pizza doesn't care if you already had waffles today or want tacos tomorrow.
Pizza isn't a jealous food by nature. It's even been known to team up with your other meals. (Taco or BBQ pizza, anyone?)
Your eating habits outside of pizza are entirely your own business.
Although, you should keep in mind when you're not together, pizza is probably out hanging out with others, too.
3. You control the sausage (or lack thereof).
Maybe you want to get hot and heavy with extra, or perhaps tonight, you just want to relax and cuddle with Netflix, a glass of wine and your own plain cheese personal pan.
It’s up to you and what you’re in the mood for.
4. Your relationship with pizza can get as cheesy as you want, and it won't get weird.
You can tell the world you love pizza; it basks in your adoration. It loves posing with you for pictures, Instagram and Facebook posts and meeting all your friends.
Go on, tell it you’re ready for extra mozzarella and parmesan sprinkled on top. Pizza can’t believe it’s taken you so long to ask.
5. Pizza can also put you into a sated coma afterward.
Sometimes, there's nothing more satisfying than indulging in carb heaven and then falling into a deep carb coma.
You can break out your rattiest sweats, and it's all good. Best of all, you don’t have to share the bed.
6. Pizza does its best to accommodate any of your weird habits.
Maybe it was hard to pick places to eat in your last relationship because you’re vegetarian, you need gluten-free or for whatever reason, you must eat your pizza in squares, not wedges.
There's no need to argue; pizza will try its best to find a way to meet your needs.
7. If you need space, pizza understands. There's no explanation needed.
Juice cleanses, smoothie diets and salad binges come and go. If you’re worried about telling pizza you need space, it’s okay.
Pizza will wait patiently until this phase of your life is over. Then, it will welcome you back with open arms when you return. (You always will.)
8. Pizza wants you for you.
It doesn't matter how messy your bedroom is, or if you need to shave. Pizza really is just that laid-back.
Pizza will always be there for you, no matter where you're at or what situation you're in. It just wants to be with you.