This Is What It Would Look Like If Alcohol Had Honest Warning Labels

In 1988, Congress decided liquor stores weren't already depressing enough when it passed the Alcoholic Beverage Labeling Act, which states any container of booze has to tell you how bad the aforementioned booze will make you at driving a forklift, being pregnant and having functioning organs.

These are certainly valid things to be concerned about, but considering my lack of a uterus and lack of/inability to afford a vehicle (or heavy machinery for that matter), I feel like there are other warnings people could use about the less-than-enjoyable side effects that accompany the consumption of different types of alcohol.

It probably wouldn't do much to boost tequila sales, but at least the people would be informed.

Tequila

Whiskey

Vodka

Gin

Rum

Light Beer

Craft Beer

Wine

Champagne

Absinthe

Everclear