I will not offend my Spanish relatives, especially my Spanish grandmother.
OK, yes, technically I am a Jewish boy with geographical ancestry tied to Russia and the former Czechoslovakia, so I don’t have a Spanish grandmother, but that doesn’t mean I’m not constantly scared of offending an old Spanish lady.
I'm constantly afraid of offending old ladies.
When I was in third grade, I once said to my grandmother Moses would also be terrible at long division. She didn’t let me use electricity for a day.
Like, I had to sit in the dark, and if I wanted to see or read something, I needed to ask my dad to light a candle for me.
There is no more deplorable transgression you can commit than making light of whatever higher power your grandmother subscribes to, and there is no group of people on this planet scarier than angry grandmas.
This means offending your grandmother is the most dangerous act you can commit while living on Earth.