Guy Gets Ultimate Revenge On Person Stealing His Wife's Lunch At Work
Much like different crimes are linked with varying degrees of punishment, there are certain social faux pas that are objectively worse than others.
I'd argue stealing someone's lunch is the office equivalent to murder.
It's one thing to cropdust a few of your fellow employees or "forget" to return a pen to someone, but it's another thing entirely to invade the company fridge because you're too lazy to cook and too cheap to drop $5.95 at the generic deli a block away.
After one man's wife complained her food kept disappearing, he decided to take advantage of his sizable cache of hot sauces and make a batch of buffalo wings specifically designed to identify the culprit -- a plan that allegedly worked out perfectly.
I will admit the passage kind of sounds like it was written by a 14-year-old with an overactive imagination, and it's worth noting, based on where the story was posted, that's not exactly out of the realm of possibility.
So I'm a bit of a chilli head. Love my hot sauces. I also love to cook. I also cook my wife a delicious lunch each day, She kept complaining that someone was stealing her lunch every couple of days out of the fridge at work. So I made her some buffalo wings for lunch to put in the fridge-- they are really popular with her colleagues.
But I spiced them up just a little with some Blair's 4am Reserve. (I note you are meant to dilute it with 1 drop per 5 litres of liquid). So I added a couple of drops of Blairs 4am Reserve per wing with nice dusting of Ghost chilli powder for good measure. I did eat a couple to make sure it didn't kill anybody, they were real hot. Even cream doesn't cut the heat: and Ghost chillies keep getting hotter for about 5 minutes.
Needless to say just before lunch, there was a shrill from the kitchen, a young male colleague decided to help himself the my wife's lunch which was clearly marked with her name. He ran to the toilet and vomited over and over. Apparently the moans sounded like he was dying. My wife just sat there innocently pretending nothing was wrong. Needless to say she has not lost a single lunch since.
At least he puked it up before he had the chance to digest.
Based on my experience, it's even worse when it's given the time to take an alternative exit.