They say all is fair in love and war (as well as anywhere a traveling carnival decides to set up shop), and if you're lucky enough to be friends with a dysfunctional couple, you know how quickly the former can turn into the latter.
For example, after Blake Minto's relationship went south, he found a lawyer who was willing to sue his ex-girlfriend for a sum of $2,100 -- the amount he claims he spent during the course of their relationship:
Wait... did I say he found a lawyer? Apologies.
What I meant to say is, he found the address of a random attorney in Fort Lauderdale who makes his money suing cruise lines for wrongful injury (if oceans had ambulances, he'd probably chase them in a pirate ship).
The Daily Dot reached out to Paul Hoffman (the lawyer listed at the bottom of the letter), and he claims he was never contacted by Minto and would have refused to take the case if he had been:
[I] definitely would have turned him down, told him to lick his wounds, and move on.
If for some reason this story inspired you, you should know Hoffman said this plan was ill-fated from the start, which should have been pretty obvious to anyone who knows how the world works.