These Fake Interview Tips Definitely Will Not Help You Get The Job (Photos)

By

The Internet is full of articles vying to be at the top of the page when people search "job interview tips" on Google. And while there might be some good tips scattered among the obvious ones, there's always a chance the author is a college student strapped for cash who's never had one in his or her entire life.

Some people say there's no such thing as being too prepared. I'd direct them to the numerous articles out there that discuss the merits of accepting or declining water if the interviewer offers it to you.

These fake interview tips were dreamed up by Michael Spicer. And even though they're mostly terrible ideas, a lot of them aren't much worse than some of the idiotic advice available for people who enjoy going out of their way to psych themselves out.

"I admire Jesus for his carpentry."

Also known as "The Good Will Hunting."

Quarterly reports!

Eating the entire thing yourself asserts dominance.

Who doesn't love some high-quality wordplay?

Just don't mix up "p" and "f" unless you want things to get awkward.

I'd personally go with "multitasking," but that's just me.

Preferably strawberry.

NEVER EXCEED FOUR WINKS -- THIS CANNOT BE STRESSED ENOUGH.

Swan boat is optional but encouraged.

"Jobarooni" is also a suitable alternative.